No one’s sure what the exact date is anymore; the only thing we all agree upon is that a number of years ago, Social Justice Warriors concentrated their idiocy using a Possibility Engine and ripped a hole into the fabric of reality. ย I’m leading a band of rebels on a raid into the Halls of Justice. ย I’m climbing the fortress walls, spread-eagled on the frame of a large window, when I glance down and seeย two guards that are dozing on their feet. ย Good. ย I just have to make it past their line of sight, and thenโsuddenly, one of them farts himself awake. ย He reflexively sniffs (wouldn’t expect different from an SJW) then points up at me and screams, “INTRUDER!” ย Automatic weapons fire rips into my team, chopping us up into bits of meat and glass. ย The guard who farted (there’s a movie around that phrase, I’m sure of it) is twisting in place, trying to hold the next one in. ย An epiphany sparks in my mind. ย I open my eReader to Echo. ย Magic flash. ย Relief falls acrossย Fart Guard’s face, but its quickly replaced by sheer terror. ย This is no ordinary flatulence that erupts from his backside; a booming soundโnot unlike the one made by the horn at Helm’s Deepโrattles the air, causing it to blur and shimmer. ย A spectacular plume of flame quickly follows, engulfing the fortress in roils of black, smoky billows. ย Like a true eighties action hero, I jump from the window ledge into the moat, flexing and screaming as I fly through the air.
Eventually, we will all be involved in covert raids against Social Justice stormtroopers. ย If you’re ever compromised mid-assault, makeย sure that you can use your enemies lack of composure against them. ย Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle. ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindle


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