No one’s sure what the exact date is anymore; the only thing we all agree upon is that a number of years ago, Social Justice Warriors concentrated their idiocy using a Possibility Engine and ripped a hole into the fabric of reality. I’m leading a band of rebels on a raid into the Halls of Justice. I’m climbing the fortress walls, spread-eagled on the frame of a large window, when I glance down and see two guards that are dozing on their feet. Good. I just have to make it past their line of sight, and then—suddenly, one of them farts himself awake. He reflexively sniffs (wouldn’t expect different from an SJW) then points up at me and screams, “INTRUDER!” Automatic weapons fire rips into my team, chopping us up into bits of meat and glass. The guard who farted (there’s a movie around that phrase, I’m sure of it) is twisting in place, trying to hold the next one in. An epiphany sparks in my mind. I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Relief falls across Fart Guard’s face, but its quickly replaced by sheer terror. This is no ordinary flatulence that erupts from his backside; a booming sound—not unlike the one made by the horn at Helm’s Deep—rattles the air, causing it to blur and shimmer. A spectacular plume of flame quickly follows, engulfing the fortress in roils of black, smoky billows. Like a true eighties action hero, I jump from the window ledge into the moat, flexing and screaming as I fly through the air.
Eventually, we will all be involved in covert raids against Social Justice stormtroopers. If you’re ever compromised mid-assault, make sure that you can use your enemies lack of composure against them. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle