I’m running across a frozen tundra, fleeing from an army of soccer moms that have had enough of my stupid ads. ย They’re inย sleds that are leashed to packs of snarling husbands, half of whom are wearing Gimp masks. ย Normally I ‘d be able to outrun a sled pulled by scrabbling suburbanites on all fours, but these things have spent long hours on their knees, and can move quickly whileย bent over (insert cheap joke here). ย I slip and fall, and before I can get up, see the shadows of my pursuers glideย across the ice and draw long in front of me. ย The lead soccer momโyou know her; PTA tyrant, expert in rumor-to-rumor combat, a sneer behind every smileโgrins at me and cracks her whip a foot from my head. ย I look from face to face, desperately seeking a hint of mercy or succor. ย Crossfit Mom gives me a wink while three of the hus-beasts mouth, “Kiiiiilllll meeeee,” and shed a single tear down one cheek. ย I open my eReader to Echo. ย Magic flash. ย I see a single seedย of organic, free-range, fair-trade, farm-to-table, blessed-by-Giadaย quinoa fall from the sky, catching the sunlight in a slow motion spin. ย Suddenly the suburbanites are tearing at each other, trying to lay claim to that tinyย fleck of yuppie noms. ย In the midst of the carnage, Crossfit mom jumps off her sled, slings me over her shoulder, pats my butt, and runs off while I’m sporting anย ear-to-ear grin.
For every gang of suburbanite sled-hunters that chase you down, there is a magic piece of quinoa that will cause them to turn upon each other with a horrifying quickness. ย Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle. ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindle


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