I’m running across a frozen tundra, fleeing from an army of soccer moms that have had enough of my stupid ads. They’re in sleds that are leashed to packs of snarling husbands, half of whom are wearing Gimp masks. Normally I ‘d be able to outrun a sled pulled by scrabbling suburbanites on all fours, but these things have spent long hours on their knees, and can move quickly while bent over (insert cheap joke here). I slip and fall, and before I can get up, see the shadows of my pursuers glide across the ice and draw long in front of me. The lead soccer mom—you know her; PTA tyrant, expert in rumor-to-rumor combat, a sneer behind every smile—grins at me and cracks her whip a foot from my head. I look from face to face, desperately seeking a hint of mercy or succor. Crossfit Mom gives me a wink while three of the hus-beasts mouth, “Kiiiiilllll meeeee,” and shed a single tear down one cheek. I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. I see a single seed of organic, free-range, fair-trade, farm-to-table, blessed-by-Giada quinoa fall from the sky, catching the sunlight in a slow motion spin. Suddenly the suburbanites are tearing at each other, trying to lay claim to that tiny fleck of yuppie noms. In the midst of the carnage, Crossfit mom jumps off her sled, slings me over her shoulder, pats my butt, and runs off while I’m sporting an ear-to-ear grin.
For every gang of suburbanite sled-hunters that chase you down, there is a magic piece of quinoa that will cause them to turn upon each other with a horrifying quickness. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle