“I said got DAMN!”  Taylor Swift looks down at me peeking up from between her thighs, beneath the edge of her boss-lady desk, and gives me a big-ass afterglow-smile.  “I swear—if we were smashing at your place, I’d be walking around in one of your t-shirts.”

I laugh nervously and rub my jaw.  “Thanks.  All in the day of a professional Man Whore.”  (Glad she finished—my tongue muscles were about to fucking explode.)

She stands up and inches her skirt back in place. “All right, get out of here before—”

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!”  Travis Kelce, in all his giant-headed glory, busts in her office and levels a finger at me.  “You are FUCKING DEAD!”

Taylor rolls her eyes.  “Could we not do this here?  Kent gives the best head around—it’s better than Dracula dick.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS DRACULA DICK???”

She sighs in exasperation.  “You know—when chicks are romanced by some dark brooding vampire?  It’s the absolute best.  But Kent Wayne…”  She kisses the tips of all five fingers, then spreads them in a chef’s kiss gesture of hearty approval.  “Fucking unbeLIEVable.  You…you’ve got caveman dick.”  She looks him up and down with a judgy once-over.

“Caveman dick is still pretty good!” he sputters.  “Come on, Dracula dick can’t be that—”

“Who wants to fuck Lothar of the Hill People?” she counters.  “There’s caveman dick—” she holds a hand by her waist.  “Dracula dick—” she holds a hand by her sternum, “and aaallll the way up here—” she gets on her tippy toes and extends a hand upward as far as it will go, “there’s Kent Wayne dick.”  She flaps a dismissive hand.  “Go watch something explode and chant USA, USA with your Neander-fuck friends.”

I shrug and give a self-conscious laugh.  “I mean…yeah.  I’m way better than Dracula dick.”

“Oh that is IT!” Travis roars.  “I’m gonna tear off your head and SHIT IN THE STUMP!”

Two hundred and fifty pounds of smelly cro-mag comes barreling toward me.  Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Against all odds, I achieve a pants-ripping boner.  Taylor grabs the shaft from behind and shouts, “Die motherfucker, die!” as if she was firing a machine gun and shooting 6-8 round bursts, using the time-honored catchphrase to measure the trigger-hold. 

Cum blasts out, stitching Travis’s face, neck and chest with viscous blobs of nasty-smelling goo.  “ACKK!  PHBBT!”  The last one flies right in his mouth, evoking a pained, “HKKKK!” as it clogs his airway.  He drops to his knees and clutches his throat, wheezing and gasping in sudden distress.

Taylor gives me a weighted look.  “Now’s your chance.”

I hold a hand by my waist and whisper, “Travis dick,” up by my sternum, “Dracula dick,” and then waaaaay way up above my head, “My dick,” while meeting his eyes.

Travis reaches for me, gagging and choking, but I’m already running out the door. 

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Have you run afoul of Taylor’s Hulk Smash boyfriend?  Never fear!  Buy my books, shut him up with a magic barrage of cum, and make your escape while he’s gagging on your gametes!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

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