Echo-a Dystopian Science Fiction Novel / Kor'Thank / The Unbound Realm

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha570 Comments

IN A DYSTOPIAN WORLD, WHERE BILLIONAIRE MOGULS HAVE SHOWN THEIR SMALL-WIENERED CARDS…

“Step forward, citizen.”  The robo-drone regards me with its steadily blinking, ocular module. 

Sweat runs down my temples and cheeks.  I’ve paid a fortune for a highly illegal penile dehancer (a telemetry broadcast device that fools scanners into reading my dick as acceptably small) but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m straight-up terrified. 

“Yes sir.”  I lurch forward into the scanner.  Perspiration darkens my armpits.

Readouts flash across the drone’s red-lit module.  A second later, it states, “You exceed the 1 inch length limit by a factor of seven, roughly six inches over Protectorate limit.  You exceed the 1 inch circumference by 557.86%, over 4.5 inches over the allowable measurement.”

“Please.”  I intertwine my half-gloved fingers and drop to my knees.  “I just want to cross into Arid Zone 3 so I can find some work and eat a goddamn cheeseburger.”

“Negative, citizen.  Lord Elon has decreed that you may purchase a high-endowment waiver if you are willing to pay 55,000 credits.  That is your only option at this moment.”

“55k?!?”  I shoot to my feet and glare at the drone.  “Who the fuck has 55k just lying around?  Listen, bot, I need to work and eat!  I’m just trying to—”

It unclicks its rifle from a spinal mount, then shoulders it and sights in on my unarmored chest.  “Citizen, lie on your stomach and prepare for detainment.”  Fellow enforcers edge around me, forming a semicircular line and interlocking their fire.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

I roll on my back just in time, right before my wiener rips free of my pants and rockets high into the moonlit sky.  As it rears back and roars with fury, it cuts a terrifying silhouette against the full white moon. 

Human guards run out of barricaded shacks.  One of them points at my cock and screams, “WEAPONS FREE!”  Beam rounds and explosives hit my deathbringer wiener, peppering it with destructive heat and concussive force.

None of it works.  With rage that would put Godzilla to shame, my cock starts smashing up and down, cracking the pavement and breaking dozens of armed drones into sparking circuitry and hot-glowing wires.  It swims through handfuls of human assailants, coiling scores of them in its veiny flesh.  To their credit, they keep firing, but in one gruesome move, it tenses its shaft, snapping their bones and mashing their organs.  In a handful of cases, eyeballs squirt out due to the pressure.  Blood fountains out from their screaming mouths.  Once its finished, my wiener starts pole vaulting across the expanse, like the Incredible Hulk after he’s beaten some ass and wants some alone time. 

That’s what you get, motherfuckers, for trying to persecute us working-class big-penised stiffs!  Arid Zone 3, here I come! 

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Have you suffered under the boots of poorly endowed moguls?  Never fear!  Buy my books, weaponize your genitals into a world-crushing force for justice and vengeance, and get those enforcers to leave you the hell alone! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

570 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels”

  2. Your imagination is insane. I could not come up with anything remotely as fascinating as what you write. The only weapon I thought penis’s were capable of yielding was fertilizing eggs and leaving us females vulnerable impregnated and damned to raise offspring. I like your weaponised version better. You boggle my mind with your musings.

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    • Thank you! 😊 I think it’s a consequence of growing up as an overthinking nerd who had to bite his tongue and not say something completely offensive and off the wall 😅 The musings are a result of not being satisfied with a cruel or random universe (random is also cruel, because there’s cases where you can do everything perfect and ethically, and a chance roll of the dice will condemn you to the most hellish experience imaginable). Once I committed to the premise of a benevolent universe, I began to hash out what would be required for that. Ironically, though, I’m moving away from all the philosophical overintellectualizing in my daily life, and focusing on living more from the heart.

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      • you are so fascinating. I would love to have a conversation about everything you just wrote. I need to know more/more explanation. I can’t say I am exactly pleased with what was dished out to me either by the universe. Lately I have just given up trying to achieve whatever success is supposed to be. I just try to take one day at a time. 🙂

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      • According to my reasoning, the first requirement to support my belief in a benevolent existence would be reincarnation, because we come into life without knowing how to be happy, it’s essentially like playing a game without knowing the rules. So in order for the game to be ethical, you’d need to be able to try again. What kind of game would it be, if you only had one chance and you had no idea what you were supposed to do, you were guaranteed setbacks you couldn’t make definitive sense of, and time was running out even though you were ignorant of where to focus your efforts? I would call that cruel.

        The second requirement would be manifestation, or direct influence on physical events through a change in consciousness. Even with the addition of reincarnation, if external forces were the principal driver of phenomena, an individual would constantly be at the mercy of outside phenomena, (constantly stuck in a reactive, not proactive state), which were established by previously acted-out external phenomena, which were established by previously acted-out external phenomena, etc. etc. all the way back to the Big Expansion and whatever happened before that. If outside phenomena are the driver of events, then free will quickly becomes null and moot. Additionally, if that were the case, if each life were like a movie instead of a video game, then that means that an individual is trapped and powerless while in that movie, and if that movie is atrocity and horror, they are helpless to do anything besides experience atrocity and horror. That makes for a cruel existence, because for those lives where you’re stuck in horror, your destiny is to suffer, no ifs, ands, or buts. In order to circumvent billions of years of physical cause and effect, the principal driver of phenomena, even with reincarnation, must be dependent on an internal state, not an external one.

        There’s other requirements, like the existence of a higher self or soul, whose free will equates to destiny for the surface self, and explains involuntary childhood trauma and other major life events as parameters in the game that shape the chosen narrative. A good analogy I’ve heard for this is the higher self or soul chooses a specific hallway–in your case the hallway of Divinity Brownwood–to traverse. But the surface self gets to choose how to traverse the hallway, whether to skip, sprint, or drag its feet.

        That’s all kind of a haphazard explanation. A clearer one from the mystical perspective can be found in the 5 minute video by Alan Watts set to Inception music. Search Alan Watts and Inception and you’ll probably find it. It’s the one that begins with, “I wonder, I wonder…”

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      • Life is completely a game without knowing any rules. It is kind of bullshit. It is cruel. I agree with you and on top of things, the rulers of said planet Earth like to fuck around and make the game even harder.

        Free will is also nulled out by our life path or goals which we determine before we come into this world. Which we are not told once we get to this life and thus we are guided by our spirit team who works to line up events and souls for us to meet. We are not given free reign to just go meet anyone random.

        Yes and it takes YEARS of working on ones self to shift that internal state into something else which then affects the manifestation of our reality. But then we can even argue that we might not be the ones creating the reality because said spirit team is manipulating things behind the scenes.

        Yes and our high self only cares about experiencing said experiences just to report back to “source”. But yet neither care about the surface self and how we feel in the moment or how that is affecting us in this life/hallway we are stumbling down.

        I understand exactly what you are saying. I know about Alan Watts. Thank you for this conversation. I am enjoying it 😀 It’s nice to meet another real soul and not another superficial back ground person.

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      • Good to connect with you as well! The ironic thing is after all the intellectualizing I realize I’m right back to the basics, staying present and mindful. I want to live with my entire being, unkink the hose so to speak, and let source and higher self come through and do the heavy lifting. Being still is how I personally do that. I’m tired of lifting with my pinkies, I’ve been doing that for years! I’d like to lift with my core as much as I can.

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      • I know what you mean. I have also stopped forcing things to happen. I just go out and watch the bees buzzing around, smell the flowers and chill as much as I can. I find I am getting too physically tired to bother trying to play this game too hard anymore.

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      • I’ve done the burnout thing for years, blindly accepting that happiness was only appropriate after some grueling marathon beatdown. Then I thought about it, saw that it wasn’t getting satisfactory results either tangible or personal, and I realized it was kind of a silly model for life. Constantly delaying gratification, backbreaking labor, just for a sliver of a reward here and there? Definitely not my style!

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      • You sounds like the male version of me. I also worked myself to the bone, grinding away until I completely burnt out. I also was never satisfied so I moved countries when the opportunity arose and started a new life. It’s much calmer but I still have responsibilities (aka a kid). She’s so much fucking work I’m completely exhausted still and I don’t do nearly as much as I used to. Another cruel joke from the universe.

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      • I’ve been in the middle of constant chaos and letdowns, seemingly without end, to the point where I questioned the point of life. The worst part about it was not knowing when it was going to end, so I was kind of forced to get comfortable and satisfied with not knowing. I hope that it evens out for you soon! I’m also glad things improved with the move, you deserve fulfillment and peace!

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      • Well, if you subscribe to the Alan Watts model of reality, the purpose would be to have a linear experience, as our core nature, timeless and omnipresent, can’t learn anything, go anywhere, or evolve into anything. Things have definitely gotten better for me. Personally, internal surrender and being present are the focuses that I’ve been shown to be most fulfilling, but that’s probably not for everybody.

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