What the credit card swipe is happening, all you pranksters who spot an unguarded crack and—shuh-DOOP—run a flat object down its center, only to step back in horror as the cheeks part and the butthole starts winking with millions of different hellfiend variations like some demonic version of a Satan-fucked slot machine, your ex starts emerging from the unshaven stinkpit, growing larger as they prop their bent-armed hands against the sides, twitching and snarling as they slowly push themselves out while expelling a deep, resonant GRAAAAHHHHH—

And THAT, my friends, is why you think twice before swiping an object down a random exposed asscrack!  You never know when you’ll summon a Cthulu-style entity from the depths of a netherworlds-connected rectum!  Goddamn!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀