What the gray-sweat-pantsed-wiener is happening, my fellow giant-pieced thriller protagonists who’ve been snapped up by the feds for some erroneous fucking bullshit but despite your fervent pleas to go after the REAL villain, they’ve decided to give you a ride back to headquarters so you dip your head, a band of shadow falls across your eyes, and you jerk your hips towards the one on the right, knocking him out cold with your weaponized dickprint the one on the left pulls his gun which you force upward with your hands, fires three shots before you whip your hips again, slamming his trachea with your hefty glans and transform his shouts into frantic gagging, the driver is ordering you to stand the fuck down but you choke him with the chained link between your cuffed-together wrists causing him to veer off the road into the cold dark river—spuh-LOOSH—you break the window with a field-expedient boner before kicking off your pants and using your dick as a propeller to guide you downstream toward a safehouse operated by a decades-old friend who you worked with in Seville and the back-alleys of Prague—

Jesus Christ, keep that womb-hammer on safe!  These guys are doing their goddamn job, not trying to whisk you off to some nefarious-ass black site!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀