What the apocalypse-jack is happening, all you uncapped meat-beaters who refuse to bust into a sock or a coffee mug (looking at you, asshole bosses with unattended java; yes, if penises had laser-scopes, there’d be dancing red dots all up in your cup) and explode so goddamn hard that it pwings off the wall, ceiling, another wall, then gets lost somewhere in the clutter, you go on about your business for the next few months, doo-bee-doo-bee-doing until the household objects you’ve impregnated give birth to their spawn and now you’re being chased by a mob of half-human, half-appliance monsters, running down the street like a bat out of hell with no shotgun or chainsaw to fight these things off holy FUCK call the cops, call the National Guard, for the love of rimjobs where the FUCK IS SUPERMAN—

And THAT, my friends, is why you always remain within one arm’s distance of a roll of toilet paper!  Have some consideration—flush your world-ending load down the goddamn toilet!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀