What the apocalypse-gurble is happening, all you cocky mofos who’ve foolishly chosen to be a down-to-party boundary-pusher by maowing down a bunch of hot-ass ghost peppers and yukking it up with your fair weather friends, but now that you’re crawling across the floor and holding your ass shut with a trembling hand, everyone’s fled like a bunch of traitorous roaches, your stomach is gurbling like Cthulu in heat, the bathroom is only a few yards away but it feels like trillions of light years, holy shit the President is on TV saying my fellow Americans, we’ve just received word that a death-charged butthole is close to erupting and annihilating well over a dozen cities, fighters and bombers are already in the air, somewhere in the skies a pilot closes his eyes and whispers a prayer before begging for forgiveness and uttering the brevity code fox three, his payload releases you’ve made it to the shitter you’re screaming up at the sky like fucking Dragonball Z but it’s too damn late the theme from Requiem From a Dream starts randomly playing the world is exploding and breaking apart now you’re flying through the air and bicycling your limbs in slow fucking motion letting loose with a protracted roar as you ride the pressure-wave of an epic flame-jump right out of a cheesy eighties action movie—

And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t give into mob-think insecurity and gobble down a bunch of ass-scorching ghost peppers!  A Hail Mary save is out of the question—Jack Bauer would just hang his head and start crying in despair!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀