What the sham-ass is happening, all you horndogs who’ve been drawn in by a booty that’s been enhanced with filters, lighting, multiple takes, the right angle and calculated posture, but when you meet that person in real life and strip off the space-age fabric that contributes to their ass looking like a perfectly formed, anime-forged marvel, you reel from a veritable forest of ingrown hairs, giant pustules that are in the beginning stages of self determination, crowned by a Cthulu-spawned hemorrhoid that bulges from the hole mother of shit it would put Kuato to shame because it’s reaching out with a pair of vein speckled hands, grabbing your face and screaming EAT ME, EAT ME, you’re howling in sheer fucking terror what the fuck IS this GOD DAMN YOU INSTAGRAM GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL—

And THAT, my friends, is why you never jerk it to an Instagram booty!  You never know when they’ll catfish you into eating a Kuato-sized ass-egg!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀