What the dick-melanin is happening, all you meat-beaters who’ve realized the outdated standard of length has given way to a gamut of preferences to not just include girth, but also curve and hue, some of you are wiping your brow and exclaiming WHEW because your womb-hammer hasn’t been cursed with the now-unfashionable shade of translucent baby-mole-rat-albino, but the rest of you are like what the fuck what the FUCK it’s paler than Gandalf’s motherfucking staff how is anyone gonna suck it when it looks like a goddamn bioluminescent cave dweller–

Whoa whoa WHOA!  There’s easy fixes for your sallow pasty larva-wiener!  Henna, for example!  Now put a Vader tattoo on it before your d-pic gets around and people start thinking you’re related to Smeagol!  Goddamn!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀