What the whore-dog is happening, all you bored pedestrians who’re suddenly offered the mother of all hotdogs by a random-ass vendor, without thinking you snatch it up and jam it down your gob, tears pour forth and ruin the extra-thick mascara you decided to wear for no apparent reason whatsoever as you gluk-gluk-gluk like a mothaglukkin’ champ, veins bulge out and the back-of-the-throat spit starts kicking in, people cheer and whoop like crazy, mayonnaise spurts and coats you in ropes of viscous slime, if not for the big ol’ sausage gumming up your craw you’d throw your arms back in triumph and scream “WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW—”

Whoa whoa WHOA!  You’re in public, goddammit!  Save the back-of-the-throat spit for your freak-ass partner!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀