What the death-butt is happening, all you folks who are trying to impress your lover by going in for a lick, only to be hit square in the olfactory by a waft from the beasthole, instantly turning your mug into one of those squinty-eyed caricatures of someone who’s already sleep-deprived just waking up, who also happens to be retracting their facial muscles with every ounce of strength, causing a panoply of wrinkles to accordion beneath their jaw and transform them into a completely different person who vaguely resembles a cave-scrambling Morlock, you try and pleasure another organ but it’s too damn late, your eyes are watering, there’s blood and cerebral fluid in your goddamn tears, you can’t help but clutch the air and scream as your flesh sloughs off and gives way to lurid red muscle and pale juts of bone—

Wash your beasthole, goddammit!  Why in the dick would you inflict that much agony upon someone who’s willing to make sex with your nethers?  That right there is a crime against humanity!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀