What the gluk-job is happening, all you smug-ass wiener-slingers who’re overly confident in your ability to last through a beej, but then a mouth starts pummeling your peen with a barrage of gluk-gluk shlorpy and at first you wanna laugh because they look like a fish out of water that’s been turbocharged with crack, but then panic sets in because you’ve never encountered a blowjay of this ferocity, with this much intensity, holy shit they’re sucking your dick with the goddamn fury of a thousand exploding suns, your soul is leaving through your urethra my god there’s colors without names sounds that are also feelings the physical world is a narrative-based illusion WHAT THE HELL IS REALITY WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE—

And THAT, my friends, is why your respect the goddamn gluk-job!  Yeah, you may be able to weather a speedy blow-jay, but believe you me, there’s a mouth out there that can obliterate your sense of space/time/self! 

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀