As teenage Kent, I know this is not where I’m supposed to be. I’m supposed to be a muscled-up Man Whore, not a bullied high school senior.
“Check it out!” my nerd-friend Chauncey wheeze-whines. “Hunter Brody’s letterman jacket! He left it behind on the bench!”
I throw a furtive glance to either side. “Anyone else in the locker room?”
“Just us,” he replies. “Why? What’re you gonna do?”
“That asshole keeps bullying me because his mom gives me fuck-eyes,” I growl. “I can’t help it if I’m a goddamn milf magnet. Watch the door.”
Chauncey jogs to the door. I whip out my cock and start jerking it into the jacket. Pockets, collar, fucking everywhere. Fap-fap-fap-HNNGH! Fap-fap-fap-HNNGH!
“I see them coming!” Chauncey calls.
“Almost—HNNGH!—done!” I flex my PC muscles and deposit a giant load into a sleeve. “All right, let’s get the hell out of here!”
But right as we try to bustle away, Hunter and his entourage push us back in. “Whoa, where you going, Wayne? Your hair looks a little dry—think it’s time for a moisturizing swirly.”
I throat-jab a goon, nut-kick another, and scream, “Run, Chauncy!” He manages to slip free and wheeze-whine away, but the other two goons pin my arms behind my back.
“You’re dead, Wayne.” Hunter gives me a douche-bag smile. “But before I forget, Imma grab my jacket.”
Despite my 100% guaranteed impending doom, I can’t help but smile as his anguished cry erupts from the locker room: “I. Have. CUM ON ME! AHHHHH!!!”
The next thing I know, he’s charging toward me with pure murder written across his face. No options left. I rip an arm free, reach into my pocket, and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-boggling reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
As muscles fill out my bony frame, my penis expresses a guttural growl, snaking down my leg and tucking into my sock. At the same time, Hunter’s hot-ass mom runs up the hall, beholding me in a mixture of wonder and awe.
“He’s finally legal!” she breathes. “You just aged decades in less than a day! How did you do it?”
I flex my pc muscles a couple of times, sending a rippling wave through the cock-bulge entwined around my thigh and calf. “Best leave now.” I eye Hunter and his shaken goons. “Unless you want to die via rapid-fire mushroom-stamp.”
The goons take off as I throw Hunter’s mom a cocky (pardon the pun) smile. “I’m sure you’ve heard that saying about gift horses. What happens next is up to you.”
She flies into my arms, licking my face like it holds the secrets to life and existence. As my wiener goes Hulk and starts ripping through my trousers, Hunter tearfully queries, “Mom? MOM!” He clutches the air like Darth Vader in the third shitty prequel and screams, “NOOOOOOO!!!”
OH yeah! Kent Wayne wins again! HEH heh heh!
Give your high school bully his just desserts! Buy my books and widen out his mom!
Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization!
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
5 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels”
Nice interview, Kent. A writer I know well always says, “The punishment for writing a book is selling it.” Glad you let that go and just have fun.
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Thank you! Yeah, it was definitely making writing a drag.
This is perfect, i really just want to open up your brain and see why it’s moves anticlockwise.
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There’s a little hamster in there that runs on a wheel. 😅
Wow, That was different!
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