What the dangly-sack is happening, all you big-scrotumed sex-machines who dread the thought of doggy style because your giant balls are gonna be subject to merciless, rhythmic impact—THWAP-THWAP-THWAP—as you soldier on from behind, crying silent tears of pain while fucking up a storm for the good of your partner but you can’t last much longer and now you’re biting back guttural moans of “Kiillll meee…” like an out-of-luck Space Marine who’s been infected by an alien chest-burster that’s just now burrowing through his stern—
Give your balls a break! Doggy wasn’t meant for your pendulous-testicled ass! Jesus!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast! If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀