My wiener and ballsack achieved sentience?
Ha! It happened! I’m a goddamn wish-machine!
But things don’t go as planned. The exact opposite, actually.
Wiener immediately begins slapping me across the face—wh’pap PAP, wh’pap-pap-PAP!—blinding me with its monstrous glans and wrinkled folds.
“AKK! PHHBT! WHAT ARE YOU—” I raise my hands in an instinctive warding gesture.
“Stroke me, bitch! STROKE ME!”
“All right all right!” I begin working the shaft like there’s no tomorrow.
“Don’t forget me!” my balls yell. “WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!?!”
“Oh Christ!” Sweat pours from my brow as I double the tempo with my jerk-hand, then cradle the balls with my other.
Forearms burning, lungs heaving…can’t keep this up…MUCH…LONGER…
So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to Kor’Thank, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My frank-n-beans abruptly stop flailing like the meth’d-up lovechild of Taz and Honey Badger.
I collapse back onto my couch, completely spent. JEEzus!
Lesson learned—never grant sentience to your unquenchable genitals!
Have your nether parts achieved awareness and are now threatening to beat the life out of you? Never fear! Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
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