What the beast-fuck is happening, my fellow power-sexers who’ve pounded away with unbridled determination, only to have a massive cramp assault your thighs and lower back but you refuse to give up so you grit your teeth and keep pumping while sweat pours down your tension-twisted face and your organs start exploding one by on—

Holy fuckgobble—slow down, man!  Cumming at the expense of your life and sanity IS NOT WORTH IT!  You have neither the penis nor the body to maintain a Pornhub-worthy slappa-slap-slap!  Jesus!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  If you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

🙂 🙂 😀