Musings

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha16 Comments

I’m guessing that just like you, I wear different faces for different people.  I’m pretty sure that if I were to show every person every part of me, it would be difficult for them to accept, if not impossible.

That’s why I use a pen name.  It allows me to be comfortable while presenting the truest, harshest parts of myself.  Ironically, I cloak those parts in a fantastical story—or in plainer terms—an enjoyable deception.

I believe certain narratives arise again and again for a good reason; they catch our attention with magical settings, snappy dialogue and sweeping feats, then feed our souls with something deep and resonant:  an age-old truth that—if not for the lie—would overwhelm our minds with its penetrating glare.

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16 thoughts on “Musings”

  3. That probably explains the difficulty I have had over the years with making and keeping some friendships and some of the friction I have with parts of my family. I am not good at having a different face for different people, so I don’t try. It has certainly rubbed folks the wrong way over the years. I do what I can to realize my failings and change them, but I have come to understand that it’s more about my honesty and lack of a mask that has deterred many friendships. My diverse interests and points of view have been a difficulty for some to accept.
    When you are a geek with some “mainstream” interests, you get many people thinking your pretty cool until they see the part that doesn’t jive with them. I have had social gatherings where I attempted to invite all my friends only to discover that small groups form that will not interact with each other. Later I’m asked by both groups why those others were there. When I try to explain my friendship with people in the “other” groups, there have been looks of confusion and subsequent reduction of social interactions with some because of that. They don’t understand that I enjoy the company of many types of people not just “their type”.

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      • I agree with this thinking in part. It is on them to accept me for who I am as a whole or not. I think that it’s not so much judgement (initially anyway) as it is more about comfort level. When the potential friend learns that there is a facet of me that is not in their comfort zone – an unknown social factor (I get along with and interact with both jocks AND nerds), I suppose, they begin to withdraw from that lack of comfort. The judgement part might be more justification for the withdrawal from the part – and ultimately all – of me that causes the discomfort.
        It’s still up to them, but it boils down to fear over hatred (strong words, but I think you understand my point). I am not hated, but rather I’m feared. They fear the honesty and the diversity because they lack the courage to accept the “unknown” factors.
        I’ve been called intimidating, abrasive and/or brutally honest by those that don’t realize that my honesty does not come with judgement and that my diversity is real rather than portrayed for my benefit. I like who and what I like. I call it as best as I can see it. I reserve judgement until I have to decide how it affects me, and then that judgement is only based on that scope, not as anything broader. I won’t hate you because you like someone or something I don’t, but you WILL know that I don’t like whatever/whoever you like. If that makes you uncomfortable, then it’s up to you to decide how to deal with that. It saddens me if you choose to pull away from me because of that.
        I’m not necessarily proud of who and how I am, but I’m not ashamed of it, either.

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  4. Thank you for being so authentic. I’ve often felt like I’m so many different people. I too use a pseudonym so I can share without fear! It’s nice to see others feel the same way. I think it can be challenging to be real all the time with everyone the same way- and I’m okay with that 😆🙏🏽 thanks again for sharing.

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