As I’ve grown older, I’ve shifted from railing against being stuck to seeing it as an illusion, since circumstances can’t help but dissolve and change (into death and release, if nothing else). My frustration with being stuck, however, can feel uncomfortably real. That can be leavened through my ability to reframe the situation, by my ability to creatively rationalize why I’m not actually stuck, how there might be an opportunity lying in wait, or simply by my ability to be a happy idiot, trusting that things will eventually change for the better.
I’ve concluded that arguing with negativity-oriented people–those who use creativity and rationale to consistently redirect focus back onto negativity–is a waste of time. Nothing you say or do will be good enough; the best you can do is temporarily quiet them with tangible results. Even then, they’ll eventually find a way to rationalize your efforts as insufficient.
So I’d rather leave them be and concentrate on the next opportunity. They’ve already decided that nothing works as it should.
When I was hellbent on fighting and pushing against events, I would every so often stumble onto peace and contentment. Later, I realized that it was a result of giving up my internal fight–of accepting my emotions and letting them be. While I might have still been outwardly striving, I felt my perception was where I desired, and consequently, so was my place in existence at that moment.
So now, even if I’m trapped in a negative emotion, I tell myself I don’t need to fight it, that it’s okay to feel whatever I feel. And then it lets go and opens into something better. This way, instead of clinging to faith, I get to viscerally abide in trust.
When I don’t judge others for their outward style, I tend to inform my perception with their actual substance. And strangely enough, they seem to do the same to me. After the static of insecurity, blame, and disdain have faded away to a sufficient degree, I suspect an authentic interaction begins to arise.
In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with feeling good, even in the middle of societally certified disheartening conditions.
Sure, I assign responsibility and obligation in response to actions, but I firmly believe I get to feel however I want, regardless of what’s happening. (This may invite cliché ridicule and negative rationale, which is why I typically keep it to myself.)
In my experience, the path to betterment has often taken form as a dangling thread. Once you tug on it, more threads will follow, and you can weave together a thickening rope. Then the way upward becomes all too apparent.
For me, the way forward has often involved a sideways stumble into unrelated territory—or so it seemed at the time.
But as the years passed, I began using the knowledge gained from these detours, and I realized I had been blazing a trail for future use. So now, it’s easier to hold off on frustration and keep the faith (I prefer the word “trust,” because to me that’s a more personalized state of mind).
I’ve often been “lost,” only to find that it was connected to a path that led to greater rewards.
The first thing I try and control is acceptance of my circumstances. Upon that acceptance, I clarify my ability to perceive where I am, what I have to work with, and where to go from here.
For me, control of my conditions springs from sharpening my perspective, which springs from allowance of acceptance. I’m not sure how it works for others, but for me it starts with acceptance.
Many times I have attained a desire, but it fell short of how I thought it would make me feel. So instead of denying a desire or clawing my way toward its materialization, I try and focus on the feeling I’d want if I attained that desire.
Through that feeling, I get the essence of what I wanted, if not the materialization. Ironically, the material things I had wanted—or something even better—seem to follow. You can attribute that to magic or psychology or a mixture of both, but I’m not interested in arguing about something that indeterminable. I just go with the cliché and try for positivity.
In my opinion, stumbling towards a desired destination is far better than refusing to move for fear of stumbling onto the wrong path.
Because as I stumble, I can use my momentum and gained knowledge to chart a better course. Also, with the right perspective, it can be fun getting lost.