65 MILLION YEARS AGO…
Hey how ya doin’! Kent Wayne, super sexy velociraptor here. Right now I’m being chased across the plains by a bunch of douchebag T-Rexes ‘cos I boned their super hot, super neglected saurian wives. Don’t blame me—if they’d been slinging their giant dino-wieners right, then their chickadees wouldn’t have—
Wait, what’s that up in the sky? Looks like a giant, flaming ball of—
10 MILLION YEARS LATER…
Hup! Swinging from tree to tree, that’s my thing!
Name’s Kent Wayne, super sexy Eocene Prosimian (an early version of lemurs and lorises, according to the fossil records). Last time around I was a whorish velociraptor, but in this incarnation, I’m totally different:
I’m a whorish Prosimian!
Yep, guess I’m destined to pound MILF vajeen no matter what I reincarnate as. A few minutes ago, I was making sex to the Chief Scamperer’s hot-ass mate when he stumbled into the nest and sicced his Scamper Squad on me. Now I’m being chased from tree to tree by a bunch of jealous, small-penised proto-mammals. Fuckers!
(Actually, I’M the fucker, come to think of it. Ha HA!)
But never mind that! How the eff am I supposed to resist that sweet, proto-mam poon when I’m always being hit on by MILFY Prosimians? Maybe I’m cursed to live life after life being hounded and persecuted for having a gorgeous, sweet-tasting phallus. The Fates are cruel, I tell you—cruel!
But wait! I’ve tapped into the multi-incarnational consciousness of my big-penised, creative-as-fuck self…Kent Wayne is no mere Proto Whore…he’s a once-in-generation, super gifted writer who’s going to change the world…if only I can tap his immense power…
And just like that, I reach through the psychic aether and tap his idea for the sci fi epic called Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A glowing network of sparkling nodes forms across me. Brilliant lines connect one to the other, tracing out the contours of a super-advanced polygonal, set of future-cool armor. Color spills across it; plates and joints come into clear, glorious relief. Last but not least, a motorized gatling cannon and a pair of wrist-repeaters materialize on my right shoulder and both forearms.
I perch on a branch, level my weapons at the Scamper Squad, and hiss, “Monkey see, monkey fucked.”
(Doesn’t make sense, I know, but it sounds super badass).
PKEWPKEWPKEWPKEWPKEW! My guns spew a salvo of rays; whenever they hit, one of my pursuers is afflicted with an instant and painful case of diarrhea (I’ve recently decided that the ultimate superpower would be to make anyone poop on command). All around me, Proto-Simian dickweeds clutch their bellies, squinching their eyes as their furry anuses dilate and bulge with watery feces.
I activate the thrusters on my sci fi armor, soaring away and cackling with glee. HEH heh heh! Kent Wayne wins again!
Running like hell from a vengeful bunch of Eocene Prosimians? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜