“Wow…it’s like angel skin..”
Soccer Moms run their hands across my satin-smooth scrotum, marveling at its pendulous majesty with wide eyes and parted lips.
I put my hands on my hips like a 50s superhero, smiling broadly at them. “Yep—there’s a good reason why I’ve won three awards for the most beautiful set of genitals in the Northern Hemisphere. A lotta folks concentrate on my thick, upcurved wiener, but they forget all about my grapefruit-sized sack. Magnificent, isn’t it?”
The nearest Soccer Mom curls her lip in undisguised disgust. “Fucking gross, is more like it.”
“Wait, what?” My pride turns to puzzlement. “But just a second ago, you were saying that—”
They reach up to their heads, grab hold of their hair, and rip off their faces, Mission Impossible-style.
Holy fuck; they’re not Soccer Moms. They’re goddamn BETA MALES.
My shocked expression elicits high-pitched guffaws and testosterone-killing snort-laughs.
“You think you could steal all the women from us, Kent? You and your coke-can wiener and your slappy-sack balls? Think again, asshole!”
“Wait!” I pull my pants up and back away. “Think about what you’re doing! My genitals are a national treasure. Don’t—”
Too late. They rush me in a furious tide of snarls and hisses. FUCK.
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My wiener pokes up from my waistband. “Use me,” it whispers through its dick-slit. “Together, we can beat the ass off these small-cocked dorks. Use me, Kent—I’m your only hope.”
For a second I hesitate; the idea of exposing my amazing dong to any sort of danger…
But then it hits me: there’s no other choice. He’s right, dammit. He’s right.
“Let’s DO THIS!” I grab hold of his base and he leaps to life, growing four feet long and spearing a Beta Male right through the eye: SPLUTCH. I buck my hips back and whirl into a 360-degree cock-spin, decapitating five Beta Males in less than a second. Their heads fly through the air and bounce off the walls, ricocheting off each other like errant pool balls.
The rest of the Beta Males flee out the door, gibbering and screaming. My cock roars in triumphant battle-fury.
“RUN, YOU DICKLESS BASTARDS! RUN!”
That’s right mofos—that’s what you get for messing with my award-winning salami!
Have a bunch of low-down genital-haters disguised themselves as fans in a sneaky attempt to take your ass out? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜