My co-star—Chanel Montclair—punches me in the face and turns to the director.
“I can’t work like this!”
“OW!” I pinch the bridge of my nose and tilt my head back. “Someone get me a tissue, please!”
One of the assistants hands me a tissue. I press it against my nostrils, and throw Chanel an outraged glare. “What the HELL?”
“Fuck you, Kent.” She cups a cigarette and flicks the wheel of a lighter. Colorful flickers reflect off her polished nails, then she snaps the lighter closed. “You were about to say something stupid and ruin the scene!”
“Stupid?? Commissioner Gordon’s ending monologue in ‘The Dark Knight’ isn’t STUPID! It’s nothing short of—”
“Kent.” Porn director Ronald McFondled walks up to me and claps me on my shoulder. “This is an adult movie—not an arthouse film. No one wants to hear an epic speech during your moment of climax.”
I crook an eyebrow. “What about a hood aphorism?”
He hisses through his teeth. “No. Just no, Kent.”
I toss my hands up in frustration, causing my dickhead to bang back and forth between my kneecaps. “I’m an ARTIST, Ron! Any fuckstick can pump away and groan like he’s dying; we need to elevate cinema! We need to—”
“I’m sorry, Kent, but you’re fired. Clean out your locker and fuck off.”
My mouth opens and closes several times…then I hang my head and walk away. As I pass by other porn starlets, I can hear them muttering about how even though I have a magnificent upcurve, I never shut up and do the job.
As I open my locker and scoop my stuff out, my lower lip begins quivering, and a single tear trails down my right cheek. God DAMN these philistines! Can’t they see that there’s more to Milk Knockers 6 then a bunch of lewd screams and cliched porn gasps? FUCK this noise!
So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
The next thing I know, I’m riding on a robotic pterodactyl, soaring high above the Enchanted Booty Forest. Elven Soccer Moms throw me smiles and kisses from the balconies of their intricately carved, sylvan faerie houses.
“Hey Kent! HEEEEeeeyyyy!!!.”
The light of two moons alight off my robo-dactyl, and it banks right so it can spiral down toward the Soccer Mom encampment. Hot diggity DOG!
Keep your porn set! HEH heh heh!
Are your jaded coworkers forcing you to pump out an uninspired piece of pornographic dreck? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀