What the finger sniff is happening, all you—EVERY SINGLE ONE, DON’T LIE—who have scratched an odious orifice, maintained a perfectly straight face (as if being nonchalant will help you conceal your impending perfidy), and taken a whiff of the repugnant film that coats your phalanges? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download you some episodes of the Strained Brains podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Be at ease: neither Echo nor my podcast are about the filthy, primal pleasure we experience while we root around in our gunge-holes and inhale a bit of their evil fruits; no way Bro-silius! Echo’s all about cyborg pew pew pew—PEWPEWPKEEWWWW, hairy-faced rowr-beasts, and beautiful future wizards! Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how clean-fingered amaze-holed positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: your crazy-ass ex has just ripped their face off, revealing themselves to be the bloodsucking Insectoid you always knew them to be. (S)he spear-tackles you, bringing you to the ground, then inserts a proboscis into your anus, two into your ears, and one into your bank account via eTendril—an electrokinetic tentacle that allows Nether Creatures to physically connect to an electronic device and drain away the entirety of your finances (only available to crazy-ass exes. Some rules and restrictions may apply). Just as your ex sucks up your brains, your organs, and your hard-earned duckets, a virtual reality helmet lifts off your head.
“What the…what just…” you blink dazedly and look around. You’re surrounded by grinning, lab coat-wearing scientists.
“Did you enjoy that life?” one of them asks. “We call it The Fucked and Forgotten.”
“Hell NO!” you reply. “Give me a good one this time!”
The scientist gestures to his colleague. “Plug him into the Enchanted Booty Forest.”
OH yeah! As the virtual reality helmet lowers back onto your face, shivers of joy tickle your perineum. YES! See, that rush of ecstasy you’d feel at having to leave the “Fucked and Forgotten” life behind and plunge into your new existence amongst the Enchanted Booties is EXACTLY what we indie author/podcasters feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) a karmically blessed favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Tunes and the ’Zons! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜