I’m at a yoga class in down dog, gleefully aware that I’m the only man in a class full of soccer moms and that multiple eyes are ogling my assiduously squat-thickened behind (yep, we all have our preferences; thank God that mine is fairly mainstream). ย Suddenly one of them screams, “That’s HIM! ย The guy who keeps making fun of our corporation-bound husbands! ย Castrate him for his temerity!” ย They come at me in a wave. ย For a second I’m tempted to laugh, but soccer moms today are a different breed: ย They’ve transformedย from ineffectual Tae Bo enthusiasts into hardened Crossfit-goers that are starting to dip their toes into jiu-jitsu and MMA. ย I’m old fashioned and still have qualms about hitting women in the face, but I find myself regretting this stance as I check kicks, slip punches, and stuff a double-leg takedown. ย I sprint past, hurdle over, then aerial twist-flip aboveย three more attacks. ย I kick my eReader up from the ground like Tom Cruise in MI2 (I know that’s a dated reference), open it to Echo, and turn it upon the horde of angry moms. ย Magic flash. ย Jessica Rabbit, Wonder Woman, and Powergirl (yes I know her costume is ridiculous), ‘port out from the screen and begin administering a serious can of whoop-ass on the beleaguered moms. ย I wince and turn away; I love soccer moms, but not more than my genitals. ย When the three of them are done they press up against me and run their hands through my hair. ย “I know we’re not as old as you like, but would you care to come to our secret hideout so you can watch Justice League while we feed you grapes?” ย Hot damn! ย Of course I would!
Protect your genitals from the new breed of combat-trained soccer mom. ย Score a date with three of your childhood crushes. ย Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle. ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindle


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