No one’s sure what the exact date is anymore; the only thing we all agree upon is that a number of years ago, Social Justice Warriors concentrated their idiocy using a Possibility Engine and ripped a hole into the fabric of reality. I’m leading a band of rebels on a raid into the Halls of Justice. I’m climbing the fortress walls, spread-eagled on the frame of a large window, when I glance down and see two guards that are dozing on their feet. Good. I just have to make it past their line of sight, and then—suddenly, one of them farts himself awake. He reflexively sniffs (wouldn’t expect different from an SJW) then points up at me and screams, “INTRUDER!” Automatic weapons fire rips into my team, chopping us up into bits of meat and glass. The guard who farted (there’s a movie around that phrase, I’m sure of it) is twisting in place, trying to hold the next one in. An epiphany sparks in my mind. I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Relief falls across Fart Guard’s face, but its quickly replaced by sheer terror. This is no ordinary flatulence that erupts from his backside; a booming sound—not unlike the one made by the horn at Helm’s Deep—rattles the air, causing it to blur and shimmer. A spectacular plume of flame quickly follows, engulfing the fortress in roils of black, smoky billows. Like a true eighties action hero, I jump from the window ledge into the moat, flexing and screaming as I fly through the air.
Eventually, we will all be involved in covert raids against Social Justice stormtroopers. If you’re ever compromised mid-assault, make sure that you can use your enemies lack of composure against them. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle
I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award.
https://whosyourvillain.com/
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Thank You! I sincerely hope I don’t come off as a diva…but due to my writing workload I’ve indefinitely put off following blog award protocols. Sorry, I don’t mean to offend!
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No way. I nominated you because I like your blog. That simple.
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Thank You! Best of luck, Oliver!!! 🙂
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The Guard Who Farted. Great title. Is that like the Little Engine Who Could? Somebody needs to write that…. maybe a scratch and sniff book for the Social Justice Police. 🙂
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Hahaha! I can already “smell” the subversiveness
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I yearn to be a Social Justice Warrior, but apparently I’m not allowed to carry a shotgun, side arm baseball bat or bolt cutters (don’t ask) in pursuance of the cause (What’s good enough for Frank Castle is good enough for me)
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Man which issue is it where that’s all he’s packing??? Hahaha! I remember reading one where he’d cut open his forearm and secreted a razor blade in there so he could later cut through some zip ties!
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Aww, that’s all in my head with me being ‘The Man’.
Frank Castle, the true hero (as Stalin said of Cazr Peter The Great- He got the job done)
In one of Marvel’s Ultimate series The Frank Castle is in prison and in asked by the Samuel Jackson Nick Fury to name his price to join a dirty op. He asks to be left in the wing of the prison with the sex criminals and drug pushers and then lists the items he requires- Fury says ‘You’ve got it’
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Hahaha! I think they got the premise off Brubaker’s run on Daredevil where Frank purposefully lets himself get caught so he can reduce the prison population
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I’ll have to read up on that run. (So many years to catch up on- Only started back on comics 5 years ago)
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Comics are still good but subtler. I miss the mid-2000s when writers were taking full advantage of bucking the comics code. Bendis, Ellis, Ennis, Millar…they’re still doing good stuff, but IMHO there’s not enough of the stuff that makes you wanna stand up and cheer anymore. The new guys are too artsy, but there’s exceptions.
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Yes that’s true. It may just be me being grouchy but plots appear to be being recycled an clichés abound.
The Lazarus series is worth a look, for the art work, and Saga not so much for art but for its Farscape-style story line.
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Saga jumped around a bit too much for me. Lazarus was nothing short of brilliant. I think I got to book 3, eagerly awaiting book 4. Rucka usually does mediocre mainstream stuff; I guess he was saving his best for something more indie with lazarus.
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Lazarus 4 came out in the UK in a TPB format and I pounced! You will not be disappointed. Slavering for 5, due out in the UK sometime about June, I think (..Oh the waiting!)
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Oh man nice! I renamed one of my joyless power plants ‘The Carlyle Refinery’ in one of my books after Lazarus’s not so subtle nod to the Carlyle Group haha!
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I heard an arnold yell, unintelligible and yet we all feel his pain. Like this: https://youtu.be/SIaFtAKnqBU 😀
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Hahaha! I would TRAIN that goat to scare the crap out of people!
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