Musings

In the past, I’ve clung to old rhythms out of fear and comfort, but I started to realize they turn into chains and eventually anchors, weighing me down with paranoia and pessimism. I’ve watched my friends experience the exact same thing, retreating into aimless patterns and a fortress of talking points. They were no longer engaging with life; they were rotting in a prison made of negative justifications. It was remarkable, really—they could have been predictable robots that continually took damage, all in an effort to avoid being wounded. Misery was simply an accepted default.

This led me to believe that I need to pursue my dreams, even if it’s only for a minute a day. I still have to pay for rent and groceries, but I can always find time to write down an idea, craft a paragraph, or do a bit of research. I’m not trying to judge anyone, or shame people into “hustle-life” cringe, or some variation of pull-yourself-up-by-your-nonexistent-bootstraps, I’m simply stating that from where I stand, I’ve seen what happens if I don’t keep putting my desires out into the universe. Personally, I’d rather keep moving toward my dreams, even if it’s only five minutes a day, which I have sometimes had to do. There’s no nobility or condemnation in it, it’s simply a preference that seems to make sense to me.

38 thoughts on “Musings

  1. That’s a damn good idea. Me? I’ve decided to pull threads and see what unravels, but its the same basic concept: Make something happen, however small. Thanks for drawing my attention in that direction.

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  2. Finding some time for that creativity that reminds you of who you really are – that’s very important. And I think it’s a good thing to take even a small moment rather than wait for the oceans of time we ‘might have’ one day.

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    • Agreed! I suspect that the mind starts to adjust after doing that for a bit, then finds more immediate ways to free up time, and begins to perceive strategies in how to do it in a more long-term sense.

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  3. Thank you for this! As I try to pursue my dreams, I find it’s challenging to balance everything. This post reminds me as long as I’m making some progress, even if it’s only minutes a day, it’s progress.

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    • Absolutely! Don’t use this comparison if it stirs up any guilt, but Tolkien was able to scribble stuff on napkins while fighting in World War I. If I’m in the right mood, I use that for inspiration. 😊

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      • I suppose if I were in a life or death situation, I’d feel pretty motivated to get those thoughts out. I guess I’ll be grateful for my slower pace in a peaceful environment over being in a war zone! But yes, inspirational it is!

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  4. For many “creatives,” the lifestyle is small moments of progress. Lot’s of authors and artists I know are pursuing their dreams and competing against full-time jobs and family obligations. The latter shouldn’t have to feel like a competition, but some don’t have the support or empathy they need. This isn’t a lifestyle choice. It’s wiring. The need to express is as vital as breathing air. You suffocate when you can’t do it. The associated emotions can pull you in a lot of directions. Often negative. So keep finding those small moments “dirty” and make progress your beacon in the dark. Also remember…done is better than good. 😉

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  5. Fully agree, thanks for sharing this and reminding of the life-changing importance of, basically, not giving up on oneself. Unfortunately, I have seen entire generations in some cultures live their lives in a state you have aptly described as “misery is the accepted default”. If done long enough, people start to actually find it difficult to answer questions like, What do you want? They have forgotten!
    So yes, I absolutely agree with you, it is essential to keep in touch with one’s own self, if for no other purpose than to avoid becoming a shadow of a person living a shadow of a life.
    Thank you!

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  6. Wonderful said! I need to remind myself of this so often when all the necessary stuff in life threatens to take inspiration and emotion away.

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  7. Thanks so much for this blurb. This is the kind of thing I need to reread on a daily basis. It’s so tempting to give up for the simple reason that life won’t let me follow my dreams on my own precise terms. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t immense fulfilment to be found in cramming them in whenever I get the chance!

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    • I used to get enraged by what you just said–that life won’t let me follow my dreams on my own precise terms. Eventually, I just became exhausted by it and I said there’s really only two choices for me, either to do what I can, or not do anything. Keep taking shots! You never know which one will score, and personally speaking, I think it’s fun to play the game. 🙂

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      • Absolutely! I think that a person’s willingness to practice their craft in the absence of validation/money/fame etc. is a pretty good gauge of how important it really is to them. I realized that I need to write, whether or not anyone’s reading it, and ever since recognizing it as something that I have to do for its own sake, I’ve been doing a lot more of it.🙂

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      • That’s great! I realized the same after I tried to take a break a while ago. For years I was stressing out about hitting it big, then I realized it was just making me miserable, and even if I did hit it big, I would still be miserable about something if I didn’t shift my mentality. So now I just focus on the enjoyment and release of writing. Best way to be!

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  8. As mentioned above, it’s wiring. It’s like my soul is vacuumed out of my spirit if I don’t do something. At my toughest times, I at least carried a tiny pocket-sized notepad, and scribbled like Tolkien at any moment when an alluring or provocative thought crossed my mind. In my artist’s brain I could see these things as field sketches, notes for future poems or for posts. Done is better than good. I had committed them to paper which is my minimum responsibility as their parent, and I could rest assured I had contributed to that great lifetime repository and portfolio of artistic content.
    These scribblings were sometimes single sentences or less. Sometimes just a few words scratched out while driving. On a good lunch break, I might compose a blog post or half of a book chapter.
    If I allow myself to go any length of time without acknowledging the sirens, I fall into a well of drudgery.

    Before long you’ll look back on these days and these posts and see their relative value.
    Every day shapes you.

    Slainte,

    Paz

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    • Absolutely! Many of my stories just start as a vague idea or a single scene, which I then have to elaborate on. Even if that elaboration is as simple as scratching out notes, then that helps me be a good parent (to use your phrasing) for the story as a whole.

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  9. The way through it is to aim to be true to yourself, even if it sets you out of the path you intend, to seal the void sometimes invisibly celebrated and inner confidence out way’s the strive for fame… be careful what you wish for! I am still finding my way post masters, allowing everyone a voice through family court! I just feel the need to potter through another project, but I have completed so much interning others I am sat mediating losing the companionship I valued so much for people who could not even be bothered to invest in their own part of the children and crossover!

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    • Absolutely. You were given an individual perspective, an individual set of circumstances, and an individual set of talents so you could live your own life/adventure, not help someone else live theirs. I don’t believe in stepping on others and I’ll give them help if it’s a natural thing, but I’m not alive so I can boost other peoples’ egos.

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      • I have always interned, How would you like to pass! Myself is a little more connective than those I carried and I have no tact or filter family court is an event! six deliverances and carriages I feel like setting off to the maldives with my middle finger held high! tantrically resolving their ownership issues and using my masters to sort their personality drivers! I should probably write it, oh no I came through mute (something about my comment when you can live a week in your religious assignment I will sit by it!) my index of achievements comes along with all the voices that scare them to death! I set the baseline for the lowest levels to recieve… now a few generations in I am schooling eye! generous to a fault this time they will earn it!

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      • carriages I deliver off others! no births I wait to see what their network is like i prefer guardianship! professional catches i just took six children by court for illegal actions covered by protect and serve! C- sections theirs not mine immacculate conception now i just wait to see who i can terminate by law!

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      • All theirs to tell as a professional who raised them central once they delete themselves and their jackets i can enjoy those i raised and see who i choose as king!

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