“So Kent, how do you feel about becoming the next Captain America?”  Doctor Ray carefully measures out a singular dose of Super Soldier serum.

“Ah, a little nervous, to be honest.”  I laugh self-consciously.  “It’s a lot of responsibility, you know?  Being strapped to a cold metal table doesn’t help.”

He gives my shoulder a reassuring pat.  “These restraints are simply a check-in-the-box.  According to our data, they’re completely unnecessary, but the brass made us use them out of an abundance of caution.  Now here we go.  You might feel a slight pinch—“

As the doc preps my arm he suddenly stumbles.  His hand drops, the needle slips in my wiener.  His fingers reflexively squeeze down on the plunger.

“No!”  My eyes widen in horror.  “My unquenchable penis has a mind of its own!  You have to sedate it before—”

“GRAAAAHHHH!!!”  My hog unravels and rises high, busting through the domed ceiling.  Techs and scientists scramble every which way, fleeing for their lives as chunks of cement come raining down.

“BOW BEFORE DEATH-COCK!”

“You fool!”  With a herculean effort, I rip my arm free of the restraints.  “You’ve doomed us all!”

*ZOOM TO EXTERIOR VIEW OF NORTH AMERICA, WHERE A GIANT CLOUD OF DUST ARISES AS MY EVIL PENIS MUSHROOM-STAMPS THE WESTERN SEABOARD*

“MONSTER!  You’ve just killed MILLIONS!”

In true world-destroyer fashion, my unholy dick responds with Cthulu-like laughter.  “RUK-KRYAK ARUCH!  ACH-ACH-ACH!”

Fuck it.  No options left.  I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

SHLOOP!  My wiener goes back to normal size, wrapping snugly around my ankle and falling back asleep.

Good CHRIST. 

Let this be a lesson—never, EVER, inject Super Soldier serum into your ravenous genitals!

 

Have a cadre of scientists transformed your nether-parts into an unstoppable force for world-devouring evil?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

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