Time to punch out.ย Grab the wallet, the phone, hoodieโฆhop in the car, start the engineโฆok, letโs plug the jack into my phone and fire up a podcastโฆ
Waitโthis isnโt my phone.ย What theโฆ
Oh noโIโve taken Susie Wellingtonโs phone by mistake!ย I spin the wheel, taking the next exit, then another one so I can head back up the freeway.ย I never lock my phone!ย Gotta make it back before she canโ
Itโs too late; I see people jumping from my office buildingโlittle black figures flailing their limbs against the twilight-dimmed horizon.ย They’re plummeting to their death, screaming in horror from the unutterable evil thatโs been unleashed from my phone.ย As it spreads and grows, I see nearby pedestrians burst into flames or wither into mummies.ย High-rise buildings break and collapse, torn asunder from the disgusting foulness pouring from my phone.
Susie’s activated my iTunes playlist and played it on speaker mode!ย Jesus Christโcouldnโt you tell just by looking at it that Iโve got the worldโs shittiest taste in music EVER???ย FUCK!
Tears leak down my cheeks.ย Snotty sobs erupt from my mouth.ย My unholy playlist has triggered the apocalypse.ย I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.
No options left.ย So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.ย Magic flash.
Time rewinds.ย ZzweeooZโBOOP!ย Suddenly Iโm back in the office conference room, my hand hovering over Susie’s phone, the one Iโd mistaken for my own in that other reality where Iโd inadvertently blown apart existence into a giant swirl of death-ridden shit-stew.
And I make the right choice this time:ย I snatch up my own phone and stuff it in my pocket.
NO one gets to see my vile-ass playlist!ย Ha HA!
๐
Have you accidentally destroyed All That Is and All That Was through your damnable taste in music?ย Never fear!
Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle.ย ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย ย Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindleย ย Vol.4 on Kindle here:ย ย Vol. 4 on Kindleย Echo Omnibus here:ย ย Echo Omnibusย Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:ย ย Combined Editionย Musings, Volume 1 is available here:ย ย Musings, Volume 1ย If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKINโ BRAIN, then hereโs a link to my podcast:ย ย Strained Brains!ย It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!ย Please give it a listen and a five-star review!ย Hereโs the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:ย ย Optimization!ย ย ๐ย ๐ย ๐
Hold on!ย I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!ย If youโre going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and youโd like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links Iโve providedโtheyโll send you to Echoโs Amazon pageโand THEN buy whatever product you wish.ย Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!ย In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!ย Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!ย Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!ย ย ๐ฒ๐ชย ๐


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