Time to punch out. Grab the wallet, the phone, hoodie…hop in the car, start the engine…ok, let’s plug the jack into my phone and fire up a podcast…
Wait—this isn’t my phone. What the…
Oh no—I’ve taken Susie Wellington’s phone by mistake! I spin the wheel, taking the next exit, then another one so I can head back up the freeway. I never lock my phone! Gotta make it back before she can—
It’s too late; I see people jumping from my office building—little black figures flailing their limbs against the twilight-dimmed horizon. They’re plummeting to their death, screaming in horror from the unutterable evil that’s been unleashed from my phone. As it spreads and grows, I see nearby pedestrians burst into flames or wither into mummies. High-rise buildings break and collapse, torn asunder from the disgusting foulness pouring from my phone.
Susie’s activated my iTunes playlist and played it on speaker mode! Jesus Christ—couldn’t you tell just by looking at it that I’ve got the world’s shittiest taste in music EVER??? FUCK!
Tears leak down my cheeks. Snotty sobs erupt from my mouth. My unholy playlist has triggered the apocalypse. I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.
No options left. So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
Time rewinds. ZzweeooZ’BOOP! Suddenly I’m back in the office conference room, my hand hovering over Susie’s phone, the one I’d mistaken for my own in that other reality where I’d inadvertently blown apart existence into a giant swirl of death-ridden shit-stew.
And I make the right choice this time: I snatch up my own phone and stuff it in my pocket.
NO one gets to see my vile-ass playlist! Ha HA!
Have you accidentally destroyed All That Is and All That Was through your damnable taste in music? Never fear!
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜