Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

My name is Bitefighter.ย  I am a 10 lb. Terrier Extraordinaire.

Iโ€™ve fought cats, chihuahuas, and Chitauri warlords.ย  Myย  tactical acumen is beyond reproach.ย  I have made hardened warriors cry, and despite my tiny legs and baseball-sized head, I have managed to seduce full-grown Labradors and Great Danes.ย  Nothing scares me.ย  Nothing can thwart me.

(Except for ONE thing.)

I can hear them nowโ€”teenagers singing along to that blasted harlot Taylor Swift.ย  Is that enough to lay Bitefighter low?ย  Donโ€™t make me laugh.ย  Itโ€™s what theyโ€™re holding in their perfectly manicured fingers that makes me shiver with lust.

Pupperoni.

I know itโ€™s a mishmash of processed junk.ย  I know it will pooch my small hairy belly into a miniature pogo-ball, and eject horrid flatulence out from my anus.ย  I know it will ravage my insides with the ferocity of Khanโ€™s armies.

But itโ€™s so goddamn delicious.

Iโ€™m hidden under the sofa, my muscles trembling as I use every ounce of will to keep myself from squirting out and chowing down on their amazeballs treaties.ย  My eyes roll back into my tiny skull as I go into something akin to the Jedi trance in Empire, when Luke is getting ready to telekinetically access his lightsaber.ย  Yes bitchโ€ฆyasssโ€ฆI am in complete controlโ€ฆnothing can fuck with my beast-mode meditationโ€ฆNOTHING, goddammitโ€ฆ

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!

NO!ย  I scrabble out from under the couch, my traitorous hindbrain activating its chase mechanisms.ย  I spot the squeaky toy in the tweenagerโ€™s hand, sprint toward it, andโ€”

โ€”MINE!โ€”

โ€”take a flying leap, soaring through the air and grabbing it in my teeth.ย  Orgasmic waves of pleasure crash through my body as I gnaw madly at itโ€”Squeak!ย  Squeak!ย  Squeak!โ€”growling and shaking the toy in unbridled fury.

โ€œAwwwwโ€ฆ.so CUTE!โ€ย  The tweenagers crowd around me, cooing and scratching my poochy little belly.ย  One of them readies a doggy bandanna dotted with little bones, and another stretches open a Halloween sweater with a pumpkin on its back.ย  Arrrgh!!!ย  So fucking demeaning!

Oh Godโ€ฆIโ€™m such an assholeโ€ฆsuch a stupid, weak idiotโ€ฆbut scratchies feel so GOODโ€ฆ.

NO!ย  I wriggle out of their clutches and run over to a discarded eReader, flipping it open to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.ย  Magic flash.

Gary Busey, dressed in nothing but a banana hammock and clown makeup, bursts into the room, flapping his jiggly turkey arms and yelling โ€œBOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!โ€ย  The tweenagers freak the fuck out, shrieking at the top of their lungs, and flee out the door.ย  Iโ€™m screaming right along with themโ€”roof rowf ARF!โ€”running past the forest of their legs.ย  I sprint outside and make a break for it.

Because a banana hammocked Gary Busey is scary as SHIT!

 

Are you a feisty little terrier thatโ€™s in imminent danger of wearing the dreaded Dog Shirt?ย  Never fear!ย  Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle. ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindleย  Vol. 3 on Kindle here: ย Vol. 3 on Kindleย  #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book


Comments

4 responses to “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel”

  1. Hilarious! Good Stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Nathan! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  2. Very enjoyable. Like your writing style and great imagination!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank You! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

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