Metrosexuals have taken over the world. ย They’ve stripped me naked and fixed me to a vertical rack, stretching my body across a set of wooden rollers. ย They’ve covered me in waxing cream and plastered waxing strips over every inch of my body. ย RIIIIIIIPPP! ย I scream as a giant tract of hair flies off me. ย They do it again, and my heart drops as I realize they’re about to makeย me look like a ten-year old boy. ย Suddenly I see my loyal terrier, Bitefighter, running toward me with my eReader in his teeth. ย He spits it out, and it opens to Echo. ย Magic flash. ย A single mustache hair from Teddy Rooseveltย sinks towards me, catching the light in a twinkling shine. ย My eyes fixate on it as it drifts down…down…as soon as it touches my chest my biceps grow into thick, rippling lengths of python-like muscle. ย A hardened eight-pack pops out on my torso. ย I flex inward, shattering my bonds and throw my head back in a triumphant roar, veins popping from my neck. ย Yeah, I know how to throw jabs, crosses, uppercuts and overhands, but I stick with the manliest punch everโthe haymakerโas I start mowing through legions of overly groomed, metrosexual elf-men.
There is no way I will submit to daily hoursย of plucking, tweezing, and whatever the hell else I have to do to appear as if puberty passed me by. ย Getย Echo Vol. 1 on Kindleย here: ย Vol. 1 on Kindle. ย Vol. 2 on Kindle here: ย Vol.2 on Kindle.


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