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Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha23 Comments

Recently, I’ve concluded it’s not my negativity that gets in the way; negativity arises spontaneously, as an instinctive response to an unpreferable circumstance. It’s my temptation to CLING to the negativity that holds me back–whether that manifests as denial, suppression, pretending it doesn’t exist, arguing whether it should be there, arguing whether it shouldn’t…when I let myself think whatever I spontaneously think, when I let myself feel whatever I spontaneously feel, my negativity gets to have its say, it gets to rant and rave, and then it leaves after it runs out of steam. Thus far, this is the fastest way for me to process it so I can move on.

Ironically, I’ve found it’s possible to do this without any outward indication that it’s happening within.

23 thoughts on “Musings”

  2. I tend not to just rant and rave but throw inanimate objects against a wall or floor to make my feelings felt and somehow that makes me feel so much better.

    Of course in our post industrial society, showing this much angst and temper is frown upon because it shows a base character. I call bunk on that because removing negativity even by displaying anger and rage is probably healthier for your physical, mental and emotional well-being than holding it in and dealing with stress inwardly.

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  5. You know, you’re making a really profound observation about negativity. 🤯 It’s not so much the negativity that’s the problem, but the tendency to hold onto it. It’s like you’re saying, “It’s not the rain that causes the flood, it’s the dam that holds it back.”

    Letting yourself fully feel and acknowledge the negativity is a powerful form of self-compassion.

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  6. The Chinese say that the Willow is a strong tree, because when the gales come it just bends, whilst other trees snap and fall. Yes, it’s best to let the storms of emotion – whether anger or grief – run through and dissipate. And only then, we can look (without judgement) at what triggered us – and more importantly at why we felt ‘hurt’.

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  8. “It’s my temptation to CLING to the negativity that holds me back–“

    Because you are dirtyscifibuddha, Buddha being associated with, in the parlance of Americana, “clinging”, and in the scifi graffiti of TV, Klingons, Klingon warriors. Klinging, especially to Captain James T. Kirk, of Starship Enterprise. That stuff was fun.

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  9. “it’s not my negativity that gets in the way; negativity arises spontaneously, as an instinctive response to an unpreferable circumstance. It’s my temptation to CLING to the negativity that holds me back–“

    Okay, for you negativity isn’t what gets in the way because negativity arises spontaneously as an instinctive response to an unpreferable circumstance.

    However, why don’t you continue further, with reason, saying CLINGING arises spontaneously to negativity, as an instinctive response to negativity?

    My surmisal is it has to do with your apprehension of Buddhism. You think Buddhism means NOTHING is bad, but any CLINGING to ANYTHING or EVERYTHING is what is bad.

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    • For me, clinging is a voluntary act, not a spontaneous one, so I can choose whether or not to do it.

      I actually don’t see clinging as bad. It is a choice, in my experience, and it simply determines whether I make my personal life more pleasant or unpleasant. Your surmisal, however, is appreciated.

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      • I take this seriously, and appreciate the opportunity to learn from your experiences and understanding.

        For Buddhists, supposedly, existence is suffering. Attachment to existence perpetuates this suffering, supposedly.

        This Buddhist view is pure negativity, supposedly. Yet the notion of not clinging to existence offers a way to not suffer, supposedly.

        “For me, clinging is a voluntary act, not a spontaneous one, so I can choose whether or not to do it.”

        You believe a choice to cling, or not, is available.

        I wonder if this is the Buddhist view. (You haven’t specifically said you follow or care about the Buddhist view.) My understanding of the Buddhist view is the most rigorous training and effort is required to become detached. You could say, though, there is a conscious and voluntary decision to undergo this training.

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      • These are good points. I’m not a Buddhist. Just as Christ was not a Christian, Buddha wasn’t a Buddhist. I’d like to allow myself to become whatever they were, which to me, is beyond words and labels.

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      • “I’d like to allow myself to become whatever they were, which to me, is beyond words and labels.”

        This seems like a very nice place to be. I would like to be there, or become there, myself.

        I’m not knocking it.

        Getting back to the original comment,

        “when I let myself feel whatever I spontaneously feel, my negativity gets to have its say, it gets to rant and rave, and then it leaves after it runs out of steam. Thus far, this is the fastest way for me to process it so I can move on.”

        This reminded me of,

        “When you are practicing zazen, do not try to stop your thinking. Let it stop by itself. If something comes into your mind, let it come in, and let it go out. It will not stay long. When you try to stop your thinking it means you are bothered by it. Do not be bothered by anything. It appears as if something comes from outside your mind, but actually it is only the waves of your mind, and if you are not bothered by the waves, gradually they will become calmer and calmer. In five or at most ten minutes, your mind will be completely serene and calm.”

        — Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: informal talks on Zen meditation and practice, By Shunryu Suzuki, from the chapter Mind Waves.

        The next chapter, Mind Weeds, is also relevant.

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    • I’m very intrigued, whether it sounds unpalatable or not, you associate these comments with Star Wars characters.

      I thought the Sith guy was a Rastafarian.

      So you think the Rastafarians are Buddhist?

      This alarms me.

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  13. We have to allow ourselves to feel shitty, pissed off, negative, or sad. It’s part of life, to feel those things. The trick is to not let them always rule how you feel. Let them run their course, and get back to the good and positive.

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