In my experience, the stories we tell ourselves (about ourselves) are some of the most powerful spells we can cast on our behavior and perceived quality of life. That’s why I think it’s productive to look inward, and examine what I’d like to adopt as a narrative.
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Very well said. My problem that I have is I struggle with self hate. So I look inward and just see someone I see as not deserving of a good narrative.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had a parallel struggle with self-hate and a lack of positive self image. I couldn’t see myself clearly and all the time I spent with myself inwardly, I was enduring a constant barrage of insults and condemnations. It hurt to be me.
When I found myself isolated and alone, cut off from everything that held value in the world, I found how to love myself as I am, not as I think others needed me to be. The old version of me wanted to be accepted by everyone, but didn’t know what would be acceptable across the board. Coupled with a negatizing mental track, it created a lot of inward spirals of self-loathing and intense hate of everything I knew myself to be.
But time gave me a reprieve from that and now the narrative my mind effortlessly creates is one that reinforces that I am worthy of everything I believe is true of the world. My world view includes Absolute Perfection as a perfect possibility existing among the infinite possibilities our reality exists as. So I see perfect in my mind, and reflecting on that perfection allows me to create perfection inside myself.
And when I witness my own brand of perfection with a loving eye, I feel grounded and whole, two very rewarding and fulfilling feelings to embrace.
I reach out to you because I hope that you can find a path forward for yourself that helps you embrace all of who you are (both the good and the “bad”) to find a gentle acceptance that who you are is worthy of respect and kindness, starting with from yourself.
Learning to treat yourself kindly can lead to a world of positive engagements with your life’s moments. How you see and treat yourself can be reflective of the life you lead. Treat yourself better and watch how quickly your world becomes living inside of it.
Much love and many well-wishes that you find a healthy dose of self-love and valuation of your life’s worth.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you! I hope the same for you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such is my experience as well. My favorite Buddhist teaching is: Stop seeking outward—turn inward. (My own translation from the Chinese version “莫向外求“)
LikeLiked by 2 people
The big thing is choosing your own narrative. If you don’t, you get one that’s come from outside … And who knows what the cat dragged in.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah, definitely. Dostoevsky had something to say about this. If society shames someone, say for being a prostitute or whatever, they identify with that shame and then become more and more immoral and thus more and more shamed, in a downward spiral/vicious cycle.
I’ve noticed one way in particular in which people’s self-perception affects their choices. When you do something, it can easily unconsciously lead you to think you’re a certain type of person who does that type of thing, and then you start doing similar things in the future.
I think the first thing that brought my attention to this specifically was when my architectural drafting teacher told someone they had to be quiet (or maybe kicked them out of the classroom for talking too much? idr), and then he started being more of a hard-ass or like a dick in general from then on (at least for that particular session). I felt bad for him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate your genuine and honest attitude. As a writer, there are countless opportunities to look into the depths of my life’s journey for a hidden voice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly.
Gwen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
If our narrative is one that says we don’t deserve to be loved, then that’s what we become. Our inner narrative is all important.
LikeLiked by 3 people
My inner narrative reconciles myself as being a Living Vessel that is my own Temple of Peaceful Prosperity. Peace is who I believe I am meant to personify and my moments are spent culturing a sense of self that is open and gentle, kind and loving, compassionate and considerate, reflective and insightful, along with a myriad other listing of words that express how purely I wish to exist.
A pacifist at heart. A peace-bringer of God’s Love. A not-for-profit prophet that comes with the desire to heal and help, not charge and splurge.
Living inside a life where I try to moderate the extremes of my behavior, while respecting the need to be wholly myself in any given moment, while respecting the needs of others who happen to fall inside one of my moments. This tri-focus way of perceiving the choices before me leads to an intense amount of neurotic behaviors but ultimately manifests this resonating peace that calms the storms of life, even when a hurricane is around the corner.
My inner narrative since the age of five has spoken of peace. At 41, I’m finally ready to define that peace so others can understand how beautiful it can feel to meekly exist.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That sounds like a healthy place to be! I feel like I’m in a similar place, where surrendering to my higher aspects is simply easier and minimizes stress
LikeLike
Thank you for this musing. Changing the way one speaks about onself is transformative in itself. Words have power there is a reason for prayers, affirmations and subliminals. It’s all subconsious. Say nice things about yourself and you will start to believe it and it will show in your being. Self depreciating comments means living a disparaging life. I am still doing the work to see myself as good enough. Let’s keep going!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! We deserve to be our own best friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person