Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

Jerking it…jerking it…jerking it…

HO-ACHI-MAMA!

Just as a bunch of finger-length tadpoles erupt from my wiener, I realize 2020 has struck again—they immediately aerosolize into a black-tinged mist, sweeping out of my condo with a demonic “OOH-HOO-HA-HA!”

Damn you, 2020!

THREE SECONDS LATER, KENT WAYNE’S SPERM HAS WREAKED HAVOC ACROSS THE WESTERN SEABOARD, REDUCING ENTIRE FORESTS TO CRUMBLY DUST AND MELTING THE FACES OFF MILLIONS OF CITIZENS…

No!  NO!

I run outside, grabbing my hair with both hands.  Neighbors and friends drop to their knees, struggling to breathe as they claw at their necks.

Ted Yari locks eyes with me, fighting to inhale through a cloud of my swimmers.  “Fuck…YOU.  Kent…Wayne…”

Then he collapses onto his side, eyes rolling back as he breathes his last.

FUCK!

As I run through a field of corpses, the sky turns hellscape red.  Sporadic gunfire sounds in the distance.  Above the skyline, a chopper spins out, leaving a trail of smoke hanging in the air before disappearing behind a hill and blossoming into a bright orange fireball.

What am I gonna do?  WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I keep running, trying to think of some way to reverse this madness.  A dying Karen points at me and snarls like Gollum as her face turns to ash.

(Whoop, ’scuse me a second…)

I stop in front of her and piss on her corpse.

HEH heh heh!

Sorry—couldn’t resist.  I zip up and keep running.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

A giant vortex forms before me, swirling round and round in a furious gyre.  What the FUCK, man???  My magic eReader is supposed to save me!

Then a beautiful woman forms inside the vortex:  a hot-ass Soccer Mom with pointy ears, clad in a diaphanous gown that clings to the curves of her beautiful figure.

“ Join us inside the Enchanted Booty Forest.”  She reaches out  and gives me a smile.

Enchanted Booty Forest???  Don’t have to ask me twice!  Hot damn!

I break into a sprint, taking a flying leap into the vortex.  I glimpse Earth going to absolute shit before I’m teleported into a wonderland of Elven Soccer Moms who spend most of their day in scanty lingerie, hitting each other with pillows and laughing sexily before they settle down and start making out.

Kent Wayne wins again!  Ha HA!

😀

Has 2020 turned your beat-off sesh into an apocalyptic deathstorm?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited