It’s the dead of night. I’m making my way home, whistling, when suddenly the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. A ring of chortling vegans emerges from the shadows and surrounds me, their grinning faces lit by the stark glow of overhead street lights. “We saw you eat that steak, Kent. You think you get to sanction wholesale murder?” I mumble something about adhering to ethically raised meat, and how studies have proven that plants can feel pain, but the leader’s not having it: he charges forward and punches my face. I spin onto the ground, blood leaking from the corner of my mouth. I touch it with my fingers and stare at my red-painted flesh as I hear, “SHUT UP! How dare you question my binary world view, you puerile simpleton!” I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. A velociraptor materializes in their midst and starts ripping these idiots apart from brains to butthole. The dinosaur turns to me, laughing, and roars, “HEY KENT! WANT A PIECE?” I yell back, “Don’t mind if I do!” We both enact a scene from the Walking Dead as we chow down on bloody vegan bits. Then we make vegan blood angels, laughing and high fiving in the blood soaked cement.
Messed up, right? Ironically, however, multiple studies have shown that vegan righteousness amplifies the desire to go cannibalistically apeshit by a factor of a billion. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle. Links for Vol.1 AND Vol.2 on Smashwords/Nook/iBooks/Kobo are available here: Echo on other platforms
Leave a Reply