I firmly believe we are more than just producers and consumers…I believe we are constantly given Easter eggs and clues to our true nature and purpose: To explore, to love, laugh and dream, and to realize that it really IS all good in the end. 😉
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha
Musings and books from a grunty overthinker
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
And indeed, as fucked up as it may seem, using these mistakes to deepen our understanding of why they happened and what caused such a state of ignorance and misery in the first place to create such situations may have been what was needed in the long run. That’s a super controversial position to take, but I’m heartened to see that you imply that we should care about such things. As individuals, throughout our daily actions, we should definitely seek to spread kindness and comfort in order to propagate the understanding of our interconnectivity and certain basic truths of reality. And you have a good point: We need to regularly face atrocity and challenge our personal comfort in order to keep ourselves balanced. However, I believe we are set in a futile system for a reason, because suffering is like the tide, sometimes it recedes, sometimes it’s strong, but it’s always there. I suspect that you and I come from the same spirit of caring, but in the end, who’s to say what the grand design is? If positive thinking is simply a placebo effect generator, then I’ll use it to my advantage. But if not, then, WHOA, right? 😉
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Perhaps they are temporary, perhaps they are permanent. Perhaps they are a manifestation of some greater power, or just a fluke of the mind. Who knows? My view is that genuine strength is to use all that is available to achieve and explore. So I’ll tap that placebo any day, haha! Who knows if it’s false or not? And what is “genuine strength?” If your path is to put down people and troll them and you can effectively change people for the better, then I by no means discount your methods…IF it’s a result of a focused strategy that is your best effort at bringing about change for the better. However, if it is old programming you’re comfortable with because it makes you feel secure/powerful and it holds you back from growing and causes people to disengage with you because you are unpleasant to be around and don’t really help them out..then I’d say it’s an indulgence. This isn’t a hidden condemnation; if you genuinely feel you are changing people’s lives and spreading awareness through inflammatory negativity, then follow your heart! There is great precedence for the effectiveness of negative encouragement if done strategically! And if you’re just indulging yourself, no judgment there either! Get what you want out of this crazy life as long as you don’t hurt others, and best of luck to you! 🙂
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I’m sorry you feel that I’m ignorant, Louis. I get the feeling that if we were to meet, we would probably conduct ourselves amiably and agreeably with each other. I’m not sure which of us is wrong and which is right. But yeah we can do all the dick-measuring you want; we could meet, fight, scream at each other, I could show you my DD214 and documentation for surgeries and you’d tell me about the abuse you’ve suffered. We could each do our bona fides about who does more charitable work and who does more spontaneous charity…let me put it to you like this: Why don’t we not make exhausting quests out of trying to dismantle each other, where I’m sure the winner would walk away feeling tired and unaccomplished, and wish each other the best? You have your views, I have mine. I took a look at your blog; looks like you’re not nasty for the sake of being nasty, but you’re a genuinely good guy that’s been kicked around by life and is subject to frequent misinterpretation. That shapes your perspectives, just as my experiences shape my perspectives. Once again…I’m just doing my thing the best I know how, man. And once again, good luck finding your mate and finding fulfillment! 🙂
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Oh and hey, are you involved in any social activism/charity/something along those lines? It’s obvious you have strong opinions about humanity…I find that the most cathartic thing if you’re bothered by a wrongness to the world is to go and act on stuff you feel strongly about, and it seems like you’d enjoy the challenge of helping others as well as connecting with people.
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First off let me say that I believe that our interaction was a constructive, fated one, as you hold many of my past perspectives. You seem to think that you have a comparatively enlightened perspective relative to the greater populace, and that may be true, maybe not. You also seem to think that there are moral obligations you have in attacking those that you see as willfully ignorant, and once again, who’s to say that they are. But the reason I value our interaction is because I can’t deny that you get a rise out of me and force me to confront past pieces of myself, and fully articulate to myself why I think the way I do now. Here’s my thing: I’ve also railed against the ignorant and foolish as I perceived them, and realized that you can’t change someone, especially an adult. Perhaps if they are ready and they come to you it may look like you changed them, but I suspect that they would have found that change anywhere else. And, if you believe that you can effect this change, perhaps you should write a book or start some kind of awareness movement. I’ve gone through five lower body surgeries, done the gun to the head thing, and yes, I’ve seen action. Here’s the truth about humans and war: Humans still are animals. And animals are incredibly brutal; look at our closest relative, the chimp. It isn’t a bad thing; in fact, it is sometimes essential to tap that lizard brain part of ourselves. I think it’s actually beautiful in some cases. But the evolution of humanity seems to be either a stepping away from these roots, or (what I hope to happen) an integration and understanding of how to channel our savagery. As far as wishing for returns, I think that that’s a bit of a futile path, no offense, I think it’s important to enjoy an activity just because you truly enjoy it, as there is no guarantee you won’t be alive to reap some systemic reward that’s “supposed” to be attached to it. I have seen shitbirds turn into studs and vice versa. I’ve stopped questioning the mechanisms by which a person evolves or devolves. If I do my best and help someone when they ask for it, or just quietly when they don’t, then that’s all I can do. Because we can’t prove that one of us is right or moral, I’m not sure why you feel the need to impose your belief system on me, or snipe at me, but if you’re that smart, you should realize that you’re not going to forcefully change people’s opinions, especially with negativity. I’m past it, man. There’s too much shittiness to not pursue what makes us happy, and ironically, I’ve found that what seems to make people happy is a life of discipline, purpose, and challenge. 2000 hours is pretty notable. I used to do a thing where I’d find a bum and give him a $100 for awhile. Probably gave away a few grand. Right now I’m in the middle of a vow to tip 50% for a year to service workers. Who knows how it’s spent? People will abuse their resources and never say thank you, and that’s fine. I’ve seen guys that are deep in PTSD and hooked on venlafaxine go to one MDMA treatment and never have to go back to pills. I know about a dude that had to shotgun some kids in the face and was going nuts, and then took DMT and afterwards he was at peace. Meditation has helped many. I mean, obviously you take what I say personally, and you are righteous in your stance that you are right, but I’m hewing to my own principles, so you do you. Figure out what works for you. If you want to keep sniping at me, that’s fine too. I still have an ego, I’ll probably just end up blocking you, but for now, thanks for toning down the sarcasm and righteousness. 😉
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Sorry bro, in the middle of drafting, haha! And I save all my word cleaning/squeegeeing for my published works, so it’ll remain as it is.
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I have considered that it is a cop-out, and in fact, using that line of reasoning requires a good base level of discipline. “Nothing can be proven,” easily translates into “I should be free to murder and rape.” I also have many thoughts on discipline, and not the kind that many seem to think is contained in a 10 minute Rocky training montage. So I could walk you through my routine, eat right wake early work out meditate blah blah blah, but once again that’s subjective stuff.
I do suspect certain things, based on my own experiences as well as yeah, texts from varying religions. So yep, I’m spiritual. I think there’s something greater under it all, but putting names and rituals to it allows people to infect it with ego, nastier desires, and misinterpretations that are really just excuses for cruelty.
I can’t really argue with your judgments, as one of your premises seem to be that they are unassailably accurate. I’m not sure why you think that would be the case, unless you’ve lived a life that encompasses the breadth of the human experience, and even there it would fall short, because the human experience seems limited to earth. There’s a cosmic and quantum world out there we are not equipped to experience.
Here’s why I don’t think the uncertainty premise isn’t a cop-out: I like to operate from the perspective of not being sure of things, yet acting with surety. So yeah, I’ve rehabbed myself, I keep a tight schedule, I push myself to do new projects. And if I get wound up about any of it? I laugh, keep in mind it could be an illusion, and re-apply myself with renewed enjoyment. Keeps me from getting burnt out, lets me go harder, keeps me excited and energized to do new things.
On the treacherous and petty: I find that EVERYBODY can be pushed to that point! Everyone can be broken, everyone will have moments of being an absolute backstabbing shit, and yeah, if I’m in a hairy situation, I’ll prefer a certain type of person with me, but humans generally are pretty weakly constructed. Lotta hardcore guys push it until they’re broken down…and then one day they’re just done. I understand the need to develop personal strength, but as one of my high-speed buddies used to say, “No matter how badass a martial artist is, they can’t beat the 3 Gs, gorillas grizzlies and great whites.” (Unless you carry the appropriate weaponry all the time, but that makes for an impractical life). So in the span of my life, I’ve done that shit where I’ve broken myself, and now rather than being “hardcore” or some survivalist nut, I’ll blend with my environment, and escalate readiness as best I can so I can enjoy life as much as possible. Dude, I’m helpless if I’m writing or meditating; I’m in the zone. A decrepit lady could surprise the shit out of me. And conditioning only goes so far; you can’t stay tactical all the time, your readiness degrades by default. But look, I’ve seen your bio, you’ve been through shit, and I can understand your emphasis on strength.
As far as your opinions on basic training, you are right that it is pussy, but once again, it’s a nuanced thing. Depends which service you’re talking about and what level of preparedness you possess, but yeah, it’s not hard. But if you aren’t prepared physically or are just plain unlucky…then it’ll be the hardest thing on earth for the unfortunate few. Follow-on courses, esp. high-attrition ones, can be nightmarish. Bottom line is if you can perform, then you’re fine, and the strong do eat the weak. Perhaps you should try one out to see how sturdy your mentality is…but I’d advise you: mentality is not the end-all be-all. If you can’t carry your weight then nobody cares how tough or smart you are. It seems like you’d enjoy the chance to prove the accuracy of your theories under stress; what better way to see if they’re right? Go be a badass if you think you’re up for it. If basic’s too easy for you, think of trying infantry, special ops, or tier 1 stuff.
Kudos for helping people, Louis! But as you said, they were receptive to your views. From your other anecdotal references on your blog, many seem to think you are abrasive. From what you say, I think you’re a decent fellow. I also think that you have been scarred a bit from your upbringing, and lack compassion, but not really to a detrimental level, as by your words you seem to conduct yourself as a caring member of society. It doesn’t seem you want to understand or empathize with the “stupid” or “ignorant.” (Probably because you got burned badly a few times). Not a judgment of worth, but it may be that Sun Tzu’s “know yourself know your enemy” may be applicable to your situation. In Ender’s Game it’s rephrased as “In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, truly understand him, then in that very moment I also love him.” (Commandant’s reading list; pretty amazing that Orson Scott Card, who never served in the military and was a Mormon missionary, was able to write in-depth enough about warfare and human nature to land on the USMC list of recommended books) If you quest against ignorance, wouldn’t you want to be able to think of what your enemy’s perspective is?
In your last paragraph I think you just called me a friend, haha! Now consider this: I’m calibrated a certain way, right? I too, have been socially awkward, which it seems you are as well. In high school I would watch comedians to learn how to chain logic, humor and conversational flow so I could talk to girls. Now consider this, in your humility, you have admitted the possibility of being a megalomaniac. From my end, sarcasm and insults don’t make me want to listen, they make me want to respond violently. I’m not threatening or posturing, that’s just the initial response they evoke. I’m breaking a bit from my past self in that I’ve become someone that can channel that (lifting, jiu jitsu and bagwork helps a lot)
Now, a servicemember does his job for the federal government, which means when it gets right down to it, killing people that the government would like killed. There are servicemembers I’d trust to save my life but never with my money. I really don’t know what a “friend” is anymore. Some people you want by you to lay some waste but damn don’t hang out with ’em when they’re in the rear; they might stab a hooker or whatnot. There are some friends that offer great companionship but I know that I’m the one that’s going to be carrying them if something goes wrong. The whole “a servicemen should know that real friends point out their weaknesses…” a little too generalist for me to give it practical weight.
I love training, I love pushing myself, being disciplined, but yeah, I’m gonna enjoy myself while I’m doing it. Real problems are great to be able to handle…but check out Black Hawk Down when tier 1 fellows are getting taken out by stray bullets. No such thing as being able to handle everything, so no use posturing that one can do so. I understand the need for focus, training, and awareness…I also recognize that a positive attitude is infectious, and can have a very real practical effect that translates into better performance. You asked how I got to this mentality…I’m really just a performance oriented guy. I could talk shop for hours about supplement theory, nutrition, training, and yeah, positive thinking helps performance. Don’t worry about the savagery buddy, still got the lizard switch in my head. But because the nature of reality is unprovable, it seems like we have a wide range of choices. I’ll pick the one that makes me not only feel better, but gives me that extra edge. 😉
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Hmmm…in all honesty I can’t say I’ve had much experience with children. I’m actually fairly antisocial; it drains me to be around people for long periods of time, which is ironic because I joined the military, but in all honesty, I joined more to be like Batman than be part of a lethal football team, haha! But the experience was expanding; attacking personal weaknesses of mine is something I try to keep doing as a matter of personal evolution, and going through life I have come to believe it is a good idea to test my premises and theories through physical experience in order to see how valid my theories are, and at what level of nuance they’ll fall apart.
Gotta say that I prefer dogs over children or most humans, although dogs can let you down as well. Although I enjoy giving humanity the benefit of the doubt, in practicality, it requires too much vigilance and energy for me to constantly interact with humanity face to face, as I have always been an introvert, and as you probably already well know, humans will let you down: Some are good to have you in dangerous situations, some are good to have with you for companionship, some are good for organizational planning…but it’s hard to find people that are just spot on with everything, so I like to try and keep things in context and appreciate people for their own individual merits and not rely on them in situations where I suspect they may fail me. But for my own sake, I do like to be kind to others and believe that they will somehow contribute to the greater good, albeit in a twisted and convoluted fashion in most cases.
Once again, that’s unprovable, but I find that it energizes me, helps me perform, and allows me to avoid turning into a hateful old man, haha! I just prefer being that way in general, as I already know I can be a savage; my personal bent is toward increasing my mental fluidity to be adaptive toward all situations while staying humble enough to know when to give myself a break. And of course, like all good-sounding approaches, its hard when you add the complexity/ambiguity of life into it.
I agree with you in an abstract way on physical fitness. I disagree with you in certain respects; I enjoy seeing excellence in all fields and seeing the translation of it across varieties of activities. One of my favs since I was a little kid was Musashi. Physical fitness is not just about repetition and performance. The body is an incredibly complex machine; brain function, mood, and a host of undiscovered factors tie into the use of stress to open beneficial pathways in the body. Who knows what pheromonal and epigenetic consequences these things have? Plus as I have experienced the failure of me trying to constantly implement supposedly perfected systems based on my interpretation of evidence, I like to engage in exploratory behavior and see what comes up…basically see what works for me and revamp my arsenal to constantly be more effective. Physical fitness to me is like an incredibly complex board game where we keep discovering new rules. Martial arts and in fact, any conflict, CAN be an exchange of negativity, and indeed when I was younger I viewed it that way, who can hit harder and more accurately…but now I see those things as exchanges of philosophies wherein two opposing forces try to convince the other of the validity of their argument through deception, timing, and mental fluidity. And there’s a humility factor: Many things I learn can’t be applied past a certain strength differential. If I went against an NFL player, the sheer strength of him would make me look like a 50 lb. kid going against an average heigh athletic man. So I like to keep my mindset fluid and constantly grow in knowledge (esp. jiu jitsu—new moves are being invented all the time, and the context of MMA brings back validity to certain risky traditional techniques IF you have a solid basis to defend against multiple domains…I find that stuff fascinating). So in a nutshell, physical fitness and related activities to me are about the nuanced benefits as well as the feeling of strength and balance I get from it. Also on a purely interactional level, it shouldn’t be this way, but as we have certain animal programming, a fit person appears more attractive and tends to get paid more (from what I understand from news articles and statistics…could be wrong, but seems believable to me, definitely the attractiveness part). But like all things, ego can infect the pursuit of physical activity, and make it more about preening and self-validation than a deeper exploration of reality. It can BECOME life, rather than serving its true purpose, which is to enhance life, if that makes any sense.
I’m not trying to be a bastard contrarian, but as far as growing up, I feel a little bit the opposite of you: I’ve had the resources and majority to NEVER grow up, in a sense. My experiences have shown that once I start thinking that I’m mature or grown up or wise that life gives me a boot in the ass, so I constantly try to keep an exploratory open mindset. Now I’ve seen others take it to a detrimental level, where they do not act or take no stands so are unable to push forward on anything, so I’m well aware of the danger of inaction and TOO much wallowing in the idea that we never know anything. I believe there’s a balanced mix: We accept certain possibilities, then use the world as a laboratory if you will, act as if those possibilities are true, see what results we get, then try to replicate at different scales, inevitably find our strategies fall apart if you adjust scale or context, create a new strategy for that level, and so on and so forth. It used to drive me nuts, but now I’m coming to enjoy the constant experimentation.
I agree that chance made you; I’m uncertain of how much free will we actually have. I have wondered if we could account for every quantum interaction, would we be able to accurately predict a person’s behavior? There seem to be definite correlators between childhood events and future behaviors…I like the concept of some free will, as its empowering and allows me to take responsibility for my actions, but I really don’t know. I also like recognizing that people are driven to act as they do because of past experiences. Upon deeper consideration this contradicts with what I said earlier about not being able to change people…maybe you can, maybe you can’t. I know that forcing change on people seems to have results that are unexpected to the degree that it doesn’t seem worthwhile to pursue, I guess that’s a better way of stating what I meant. But I fully believe in giving people and guidance if they are receptive to it, and helping them in a general sense with money or assistance with or without their knowledge in a general sense. As with all things, this gets ambiguous. Trust-fund babies have had their lives ruined with too much privilege.
I hope you find the company of equals, Louis! I don’t know who is my equal and who isn’t, all I know is that I prefer certain people in different contexts. But semantics aside, I sincerely hope that you’ll find company that fulfills you and helps foster your personal happiness. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to hear me out, and in these later posts, a milder tone, haha! It keeps my brain function from descending into the mid-range area where all my rage-responses percolate, and while those are useful sometimes, it’s not like they would do anything in our exchange if I expressed them other than to just increase my personal frustration, and if we met, then one of us might get hurt (could be me, I’m far from a badass) and then there would be legality issues…anyways, to me if I engaged in that route it would either end in negative hormonal effects or negative legal consequences. So thanks! And I doubt I experienced the abuse you seem to imply you have in your younger years, so I respect that you were able to come out of it with functionality and some kind of positive functionality! Good luck with your endeavors!
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Well first off, before I go in-depth on my response, let me say that whether your statements are true or not, I believe that for YOU they are true, to say otherwise would be reductive and dismissive. Now I can understand why you think the way you do, given the premises you’ve embraced, and from what appears on your bio, the reason for embracing those premises. I just happen to think differently; I have different life experiences leading me to embrace a different set of premises.
Now, based on my perspective, I can see how you would use the language and connotation that you do. I too have to measure my conversation and interaction; there is a finite amount of indulgence that I can take advantage of in day-to-day conversation. Yesterday I was fascinated by gendanken thought experiments. From past anecdotal evidence, I’m probably not going to be able to hold someone’s interest using that subject matter. However, I have learned that I have found that I can always learn from people, even if they are “evil” or “stupid.” Of course there’s a lot to filter out if an evil or stupid person happens to be the subject of my investigation, so I don’t actively pursue studying these people unless my intuition guides me to. But if one happens to consistently be crowding my life, then I will try and see if I can adapt any tools they use that are independent of their largely distasteful behavior, which is why I hesitate to label and write people off. Not to get too nerdy, but didn’t Darth Vader and Gollum play a crucial part in the end? Yep, they’re fictional, but I’ve also been surprised by people who have been supposedly written off or dismissed. As a matter of practicality, it’s useful to use stereotypes and generalizations, especially in imminent or uncertain situations, but in the interest of being able to handle increasing levels of complexity, it is important to enhance the ability to handle nuance. I know of a very astute officer who encouraged his guys to kill, but told them to try and understand what motivated the enemy, just to avoid being trapped in an aggression/response cycle and be able to capitalize on possible future opportunities to either strike harder because of understanding an inconsistency in the opposition’s mentality, or perhaps avoid unnecessary conflict.
While I can’t prove it, I believe that everyone seeks happiness in their own way; some just feel that they have to trample others to get it. Some feel they have to judge others, dismiss them, or embrace them all. I think a lot of it has to do with programming…not sure how much of it has to do with free will, though I would like to believe a good chunk of it is due to free will. So, in the face of that uncertainty, and of course, the ever-contentious uncertainty of reality that yes, can be used as a cop-out to avoid action or responsibility, I treat people from that perspective: A product of their environment that is seeking to be happy as best as they know how. And hey, if that means they hurt others, then practicality dictates they are either restrained or killed.
Now on impulse control: my perspective above bleeds into that as well. Some people have traumas or programming that prevent them from restraining certain impulses. I am of the opinion that it may or may not have anything to do with weakness, so I don’t like to lay it all on that premise that it’s someone’s choice. If faced with aggression, that doesn’t mean submit, but for me I try not to take things personally and simply find an effective counterstrategy. I find it more effective to use this premise by noting programming, tendencies and evidence, and fashion a response off of that. It also helps me from taking things personally and getting depressed by constantly thinking why some people just can’t behave appropriately or get their shit together.
Also once again, not to be a contrarian, but I believe that “weakness” doesn’t figure into impulse control if you scale the scenarios. Anybody can be broken; if elite units were simply about mental toughness, everyone they loved would be systematically tortured and killed in front of them to see if they didn’t quit, and then they would be subjected to as much non-crippling torture as possible. That’s not the case; their selections usually have something to do with carrying weight for extended periods of time under battlefield stresses such as lack of sleep, food, etc.
Anyways, I don’t always love my life, but I try to always be finding ways to operate more effectively and flow with the scenarios, which IMHO, will allow me to manipulate either my environment or myself in order to align into a happy state.
Now I can’t advise you on your problem with the suitor; first off you’re not me, what works for me may not work for you, or it may not be organic for you. But if I were posed with the situation you described, I would experiment; try to increase my sensitivity to that person’s programming or tendencies, and then reduce my workload and lower reciprocity needs to an acceptable level by tailoring my tactics to what I thought might work. I’d approach it like a game, give it a fair chance (I like to give new endeavors 3 months of consistent effort before I write them off or significantly change my approach). That may or may not work for you.
I’m sure that you could see why I might see your last statement as arrogant, but whether it is or not, I don’t think that is your intent. You truly come from this perspective that you are better and wiser, and that others are lesser and dumber. That is what the evidence in your life has shown you. The evidence in my life has made me inclined to believe that no one is superior and can be exploited and destroyed. Much like in MMA, where fighter A may suffer a loss to fighter B who lost to fighter C….but C is able to beat A. So no one is the all-around badass, and if they were, there will be new blood soon. Much like the Spartans surrendered at Sphacteria because while they were “tougher” and “stronger” they were taken apart by astute tactics and awareness. A surrendered Spartan later tried to justify their defeat by saying using missile fire was not “manly” and “weak.”
In short, I find strength in flexible and adaptive mindsets, and those require me to not write off people as weak and lesser, because they might have something of worth to offer me. Yep, there is definitely a pitfall in that kind of thinking; I am not a big fan of people trumpeting flexibility and adaptability without being able to buckle down and demonstrate discipline and aggression. What use is a high kick if it has no power behind it?
Your approach seems to work for you, or seems to be the best response you have so far to the experiences that life has put you through. Anyways, I hope you find some tool that will allow you to glean a measure of satisfaction from those around you, and that you will refine a mechanism of interaction that suits your views and needs. Good luck!
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Ok let’s go at it from two different views. If you’re right then I’m weak and ignorant. If I’m right then both of us are doing the best we can with what we’ve got. I wouldn’t consider the time and energy in our dialogue wasted in this case, as I have been able to pursue other daily tasks and endeavors whilst engaging in dialogue. Our exchange was simply another opportunity for me to explore and develop.
Now by default I believe my position to be reductive to yours as it automatically takes the stance that you aren’t smarter or worthier…and that is a key premise you have accepted as part of reality. Once again, that seems to be what life has shown you to make the most sense. I don’t take my position with malicious intent, I simply take it due to what has been shown to me through my personal lens of experience.
Now to a large extent I DON’T trust what I think or do; that’s why I actively bounce my theories off reality through my endeavors and observations. Once I find new and more efficient ways, I’ll experiment with those too; other peoples’ successful methods can’t be taken as gospel, in my experience. Each person must figure their own way, and that requires experimentation. If I find a piece of something that works well, I’ll toy with it until I figure how to best incorporate it into my own approach, or eventually ditch it.
Your stance seems to be that you’ve figured it out, and that no one can understand. I think that’s cool that people follow you. I’m not trying to be sarcastic here, but if your intellect and understanding is unassailable, why not try to hone your process and use it to craft an environment that meets your needs? If you have little to no ego, wouldn’t the cackling lunatics cease to bother you? (I don’t believe you ever said you did or didn’t have ego, but that question is taking the stance that you have little to no ego obviously) Or if you had little to no ego AND you had massive intellect, shouldn’t you be able to translate that into capability? Why not translate your superiority into material results that change your environment into a more suitable one? If you have unmatchable strength, why not trust that strength to keep you from going insane in such endeavors?
See, I already know these things about myself to a rough degree. I walk into a room and I know that if I laid my life story alongside everyone else’s, they’d probably be very impressed, but I’ve ceased caring. Most times I’m probably the toughest guy in the room, but who cares? It doesn’t stop people from being able to shoot me, beat me up, or outmaneuver me. Most times I’m probably the smartest guy in the room, but who cares? I haven’t translated that into any material result. Right now I’m experimenting, seeing where I can fine-tune and adjust my approaches. And that’s where I see the chasm between us: We could probably lay our lives side by side in some unquantifiable comparison and clash about who’s smarter or tougher, but I’m looking to always hone and develop myself. To me, that requires that I don’t take the stance that I’m worthier, more entitled, smarter, or whatever than other people, because that blocks out what I could possibly learn from them. Now if I achieve success then yes, for that one instance, I showed that I was ahead of the curve, but then back to the drawing board. I like to pat myself on the back for five minutes after success, castigate myself for five after failure, then get back to it.
Maybe people don’t have to hate you if you used your intellect to figure out a workaround. I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re trying to do anyways, but IMHO, declaring that you’ve reached the end of the road and yelling at everyone to catch up is only valid if you’re omnipotent, or relatively, you are superior to everyone in every domain, from poetry to painting to physics to fighting. You seem to like cooking on your blog, why not make a go at it as a chef? Put your ability and strength to the test and see how fast and effectively you can progress and enact favorable change on your environment.
Or don’t. Experimentation is my way of checking myself and learning. I see that you are humble at your core premise, that you acknowledge that you have no way of verifying your thoughts (in your home page). So to me the next logical thing would be to figure out what works to the point where you could be consistently happy, ergo experimentation.
Sorry if that was preachy, but those are my thoughts. As always, good luck trying to find what you need!
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Well I like to stay away from absolutes, but in our previous interactions you’ve used sarcasm and accusatory tones in much the same way as one I’d perceive as spiteful and insecure, and apparently most people view in some negative stance. So looking at it from my perspective, wouldn’t it make sense that I’d have to take the possibility that you were showing off into consideration? It’s good that you’re claiming otherwise, because if I suspected that you were fully indulging that approach, then there’d be no constructive end talking to you and I’d politely call an end to our interaction.
Now if I were to follow my past model of reality, and this isn’t trying to be harsh with you, but I would lay your position out thusly: You have failed to effect favorable change for yourself in the past, and are now resigned to condemning others and claiming you are superior but not superior enough to effect change. You claim to have superior intellect and strength to others, but are unable or unwilling to try and adjust/create methodology that will overcome the problem of people fucking with you or reduce the likelihood of getting fucked or reduce the workload of daddying people. It’s extremely arrogant and impolite to put words in people’s mouth and assume it’s true, so I’m not saying that’s
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(sorry I got cut off) so that’s the impression I get of your position, but it may not be necessarily true. I agree that people aren’t equal; nowhere is that more evident in sports, but also in all walks of life. So I keep an open mind and see if someone has an idea that I can retool to my advantage, and fashion myself into the happiest most capable version of me possible.
Now the conundrum for you seems to be that people will fuck with you if you act on your beliefs, and as a result you have given up hope of creating a viable result if you take action due to people fucking with you.
Well that’s where we have a divergence in perspective. I’m not condemning you for it, as who’s to say that if I lived your life I would also not feel as disgusted and vilified as you? But I simply feel better about myself when I’m trying to do something, even if it probably ends up in failure. The failure to me is part of the process, wherein I can postulate how to do it better, adjust my premises, and once again, attempt to hone myself further. If I at least try, then I sleep better at night, because all efforts can be rendered futile right? A meteor or murderer could lay waste to all my efforts tomorrow, but I find a satisfaction in taking the choice of being open, learning, and applying myself.
I think you’re pretty smart Louis, and that if infinity is supposedly big enough that there are so many scenarios that in another reality an exact copy of you and I is doing the exact same thing we’re doing right now, that I’d lean towards there being some way you can act on your beliefs and fashion the world you want. However, I’m still not entirely sure free will exists, so that may not be the case, in which that assumption would be an arrogant one. So let’s say free will does exist to some degree, then with whatever measure I have, I’m going to try and fashion my personal approach to harmonize with the environment and optimize my personal well-being. Part of that, as Machiavellian as it may be, is to wish you the best, Louis. And while it may have been entirely Machiavellian in my earlier days, as charity often is when approached with a transactional mindset, I find that it’s been changing over the years, and in this instance, I do wish you the best…just because, haha!
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postscript: So at the end of the first comment I was referring to the possibility of myself being arrogant if I assumed those conclusions were true, not you being arrogant. Also at the end of the second paragraph, I was not referring to you as a charity I engage in, but referring to those who engage in charity with some expectation of a return.
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Well first off, taking shit in the military is for a mixture of reasons; mostly to prepare for adversity but also as a bonding ritual and also plainly, because that environment breeds a competitive jailhouse mentality. I’ve seen guys take so much shit where they can’t be trusted to have live rounds because they might shoot their superiors. Obviously they’re not going on patrol or anything and get stuck in a well-protected area.
To that point, here’s a pattern in your arguments: You use generalized labels, concepts such as “basic reasoning,” a “friend should do…” and “weakness” in order to support your views as ever-applicable and superior, whereas I advocate context; being scalable and flexible in my approach for different situations as my broad-ranging theories may not be applicable at certain levels. Being how you seem to lean toward rationality, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t do the same by trying to make yourself more effective by adjusting approach for context. We’ve both been alive for a few decades and infinity is not only well out of our grasps, but beyond it. But I also see why you wouldn’t adjust your approach for context; you self-described yourself as “lazy” (your word not mine) and have apparently experienced a notable degree of psychological trauma, so it seems that it would be in your personal interest to stick with broad-ranging philosophies that condemn others and not have to experiment with them. As always, that’s only part of it, as you just said “you’re working on it.” right now, but the ironies become apparent: Wanting unconditional love while condemning. Exhorting people to action while being lazy. Expecting reward for some subjective measure of effort/investment you put in while rejecting the idea that your opposition may feel the same way from you because of their life experiences.
Okay, then let me return the favor without indulging in the inherent flaw
in your approach, which is that it seems like it has a good probability of inciting a reactionary backlash.
You claim ultimate rationality, but in a uncertain reality (which you seem to acquiesce to in your home page) you pick the worldview that sets you above others and lets you be inactive due to hopelessness or some reason or other. That’s what the evidence in your life has shown you, but I like to play with uncertainty. How is the view that you’re superior than others a rational one unless you have experienced the breadth of humanity across all time and space, and then also have an intrinsic understanding of the cosmos and reality at the quantum level? I’m going to stop extrapolating at that point, because I’m not looking to spiral into a completely inapplicable perspective, but to illustrate that the evidence of the vast unknown to me indicates that it’s not constructive to pretend as if you know so much more than others and that you’re better than them. It’s probably not true, unless you know seven billion people down to their soul.
Now yes, the contemplation of infinity can lead to navel-gazing and inaction, but I take it a different way. I say, “If I don’t know, why not experiment? Why not scale/switch approaches for different problems?” You seem to take the opposite stance: Nope, you already know, you’re already better, exploration is futile, and action is pointless.
Regardless of who is right or wrong, I believe that my approach fits our collective lack of knowledge better…and also caters to my personal inclinations. I believe your approach caters to your tendencies and reactivity from a negative interaction with humanity. You seem very transaction-oriented in nature, as in how come I didn’t get something for my efforts? I find that taking the stance that maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, who knows, but to enjoy the effort itself is much more fruitful for me personally.
So in the face of the unknowable, and given the premise that free will is a real thing, I’m going to choose an approach that allows me to be functional and satisfied at a multi-tiered level. You can choose your approach which dictates that you are never or rarely happy with others, that your mind which is only decades old knows the span of infinity enough to create a quantifiable tit-for-tat measure in each interaction where you are the one who’s taken advantage of, and choose to believe that you are the strongest and smartest one…yet not strong or smart enough to find a worthy mate or deal with shitty bosses. You can choose to label people deluded or weak. All I’m going to do is see what works next for me and adjust from there.
I believe your approach of looking for common threads within people is valid, as our minds aren’t impressive enough to not use generalizations, but in my opinion, you’re hampered because you don’t utilize nuance. Instead you seem to prefer mass-labeling people as inferior or weak or out to get you. Understandable. If someone offends you then it’s hard to try and be motivated to understand why they did it. But I have found that it is the combination of understanding nuance and general theory together, where one fails and must be replaced by the other, is where true functionality occurs.
Anyways, good luck (there may or may not be such a thing) with your life and getting mentally fit.
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Okay well first off, let’s start with what we (and philosophers and scientist) agree on, from your homepage: The nature of reality is uncertain.
Now, from there, you have chosen through your personal anecdotal experiences and perhaps exterior research, to adopt a bleak perspective. Unfortunately, you seem to have run into a roadblock; you can’t create the desired functionality out of your “wisdom,” nor the desired level of happiness. I see why that may personally be the case, as anecdotal evidence from our lives is incredibly emotionally charged. As far as the exterior research on the internet or news sources, I believe that is an impossible thing to claim a concrete opinion on; there are too many contradicting examples and now you’re faced with the problem of using some notion of a quantification process to define “good” and “evil.”
I have chosen to adopt a perspective that at the very least, offers me the benefit of a scientific phenomenon that must be factored into experimentation: the placebo effect. I also choose to use anecdotal evidence from various sages and figureheads (not their evangelizers, who tend to become batshit crazy) to support the validity of my perspective. My perspective allows me functionality as well as increased happiness.
Now given that we can both agree on the uncertain nature of reality but everything else becomes a subjective anecdote, the bottom line is I have chosen to choose a perspective that at least has a benefit rooted in science. You dismiss that as “weak” but using logic that could easily be applied to you: You eschew functionality and increased happiness, or at the very least, the functionality of the placebo. The same with the labels delusional and stupid, the same could be applied to you; you’re perching on a subjective superiority based on unquantifiable person anecdotes and unquantifiable impressions of the outside world so that you can…what? I’m not going to presume which possibility, but they range from basking in power to inaction.
My ambiguity isn’t inactionable, as when I’m faced with a problem, I try to adjust approach to find a solution. The inactionability seems to be yours, as when you’re faced with a problem, you complain that you should be given more resources, or that you were somehow shortchanged in a transaction.
You mentioned that you think you’re changing me through our interaction to better see your view, or manipulating me, or holding a mirror to my delusions. I think that life, following its consistent pattern of irony, is doing the same with you: I’m the mirror showing you that every negative label you cast at people is something that applies directly to you.
So you’re not changing my position, you’re only further cementing the validity of it as it applies to myself. My opinion of you is that you rely entirely on your personal anecdotes and use bleakness as an excuse for hopelessness and perhaps as a reason to stay in your comfort zone by protecting your premise that you are superior.
Perhaps you are “wiser,” Louis, but I really don’t care. You have yet to translate that to the functionality or happiness you desire. So I’d say that you aren’t wise at all. Perhaps you are “stronger,” but once again I don’t care. You have yet to translate that to the functionality or happiness you desire.
My approach allows me to consistently produce, and affords me a measure of meaningful interaction with humanity, while also being able to deal with them when they become negative. Your approach allows you to condemn everybody, wallow in a subjective superiority, and bemoan the twist of fate that keeps you from resources. Well if you’re that strong and wise, leverage those qualities into the necessary resources and go operate.
As far as science, our most advanced model of reality only accounts for 4% of the universe’s energy/mass, the rest is simply relegated to the title of “dark matter,” or “dark energy,” which really could be anything, according to scientists. I don’t see how you can act as if you know anything definite if we are unsure of the composition of 96% of this universe, not to mention the possibility of other universes, which may, according to scientists, have completely unknown laws of physics. Once again, your anecdotes vs. the vast unknown. My approach doesn’t offer me the luxury of condemning others or being inactive (lazy). When the most repeatably predictable model of reality (science) falls so short, then imho it’s my duty to explore, not cower behind the idea that anecdotes have shown me some completely subjective concept of personal superiority.
So we are both subjective, but I choose functionality, and you choose to ensconce yourself in whatever unfulfilling feedback loop your limited experience and anecdotes provide. Fine. You want to pretend you know, when not even wiser, but trained experts say that reality is uncertain at its core? You want to call yourself brave or wise for trumpeting the evidence of your life and anecdotes? I think you’re doing the exact opposite.
Now you being a rational man, are probably familiar with Occam’s razor. So it looks like you have experienced a traumatic childhood. I’ve heard the theory that early trauma severely affects the serotonin (as well as other pleasure hormones) in your brain. Have you tried acting on this premise? Perhaps a supervised MDMA session (early evidence is encouraging enough for the VA to offer this to vets and seems to indicate it may be more effective than antidepressants)? Maybe ayahuasca or DMT? If you know yourself THAT well then you shouldn’t be afraid of an Ibogaine treatment, which shows you your faults to such a degree that it breaks 90% + heroin addicts of their addiction (not just heroin, many substance and behavior addictions). On top of that, have you tried genetic testing, so that you can better manipulate your genes’ polymorphisms? Recently I ordered a test so that I might take into consideration how prone I am to Alzheimer’s (the APOE4 alleles are a significant determinant) and will adjust my approach to martial arts training accordingly, as APOE4 alleles can increase the chance of TBI by greater than tenfold.
If you’ve done all those things, then kudos in your rational approach to entertaining the simplest solution. If not, then your position of all-knowing seems to become pretty precarious. Especially since treatment from a chemical perspective seems to be the simplest solution to a probable malady: trauma-induced interruption of your pleasure hormone network.
Anyways, you haven’t really convinced me of your wisdom, strength, or the validity of your approach. I’m gonna keep doing my thing, and good luck with yours, Louis, I’m sure that you can see through your rationality how your sarcasm and negativity can grate on people, but its allowed me to exercise measured response and convinced me further of the validity of my own approach, from which I feel I’m reaping functional benefits. Good luck with your supposed “wisdom” “strength,” I’ll choose fulfillment and functionality over your subjective stances that make you “wiser” any day.
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Well let’s start with something we can both agree on: That we will disagree.
Now let’s move on to our divergent perspectives: You use information from your life and what you have been shown to fashion your worldview, and it has come out to one where people are complete shit. Okay. Been there. Seen it. I use information from my end to realize that I could be wrong, and I actively build functionality and fulfillment through personal experimentation and adjustability.
Now you cling to the idea that you are smart and others are deluded, which may make sense subjectively, but objectively that’s unquantifiable, and the very definitions you use of weak and deluded are subjective. I find it more useful to steer clear of those judgments and simply interact as necessary with people given an observable set of characteristics for each situation.
Same with your definition of strong: completely subjective. I don’t know what measure you’re using or that anybody would agree with it.
So your perches of wisdom and strength are subjective, and if you aren’t translating them into a functionality that’s fulfilling, then I’d say they either need vast improvement, or fall far short of any position to judge someone else’s approach. Even if they’re acting aggressively against you I’d stow the judgment and figure out how to fix the problem.
At this point, we’ve tossed so much rhetoric back and forth we’re going to be able to retwist and reinterpret points ad infinitum and argue about the meaning of what we meant, so I’m not going to go into a further tangle of point by point analysis. Let’s try to sum up what our fundamental differences are so we can get to the root of why we clash.
Probable points of agreement:
1. We have been shown by the evidence of our lives to have two different perspectives.
2. We are unsure of the core nature of reality.
3. We won’t change each others’ opinion.
4. You think you are stronger and wiser than me.
Probable points of disagreement:
1. You think you are stronger and wiser than me.
2. You know what will happen if you take certain routes (emotionally valid from your anecdotes of life, but objectively invalid due to the limitation of your perspective; if you could accurately predict human behavior, then you should be making tons of money off the stock market or other speculative finances)
3. You have a right to complain because you aren’t given the resources which would allow you to manipulate people into your subjective view of how they should ethically behave. I say go commercialize your vast wisdom and strength and get the resources you want.
4. We agree that a placebo is a statistically significant effect, we both have no idea whether it is an indication of something greater or not. You seem to trumpet your subjective version of truth over a placebo’s evidenced results, thus choosing subjectivity over functionality.
I don’t know what to tell you, Louis, other than enjoy your subjective positions and rail against the anecdotal misfortunes you’ve subjectively woven into a scenario that leaves you as a beleaguered superindividual. I’m not going to be able to change that. As for me, I’m going to just do things the best I know how, and that will include weaponizing a positive outlook. Oh and btw, from a sheer biological standpoint, perhaps you should look at your markers for inflammation and make sure that you are getting a balanced mix of micronutrients and high quality omega-3s. There have been good studies showing that these help memory and mood regulation; you know, just in case your vast wisdom and strength doesn’t account for all your faults. Or is “strength” not weaponizing all available avenues into capability? Don’t have the money? Once again, go commercialize your vast strength and wisdom.
The Spartans were badass…until they got destroyed at Sphacteria and chided their opponents for using “weak” and “unmanly” weaponry. Be as hardcore as you want, but a year or two back there was an article about USMC scout/snipers complaining about the Corps’ reluctance to upgrade their sniper rifles and rely instead on the “strength” and “hardness” of their men. Unfortunately, they were facing an enemy that had a longer ranged rifle, so the scout/snipers were constantly faced with an opposition that could shoot them at ranges they couldn’t shoot back, much like the Spartans. Google UFC fighter Gan Mcgee; when he worked as a bouncer in ’04 he was accosted by four Navy SEALS in a barfight, and he beat the shit out of all of them. One could argue convincingly that the mental strength of four guys in SEAL team outweighed that of one UFC fighter, but effectiveness is more impressive to me than high-sounding labels, and effectiveness springs from recognition and adapting to context. I don’t much care for labels such as “strong/weak,” or “wise/deluded.” Are you effective? To the point where you find life fulfilling? Doesn’t seem like you are. If I were in your shoes I’d stop slinging labels that seem ironically, to have no other purpose than self-aggrandizement. But I’m not in your shoes.
You have stated that you don’t understand the universe, much less a possible multiverse, and yet you act as if I’m completely wrong. Well here’s what’s valid: According to the anecdotes of your life and your perspective, I am wrong. And it’s good we agree we can’t change each other, because I would say that by my perspective, your laziness, which is only banished under certain conditions, like when you get spun up in a fury, is a massive gap in your capability, as is the ability to avoid mental burnout by failing to utilize a positive perspective, as is the unwillingness to move past macho labels and go into realms of functionality experiments. If you can’t demonstrate that your wisdom and strength to a degree that is fulfilling and functional, perhaps you should be humble enough to adjust your approach and entertain the possibility that you aren’t “wise” or “strong.” You either get shit done or you don’t.
Here’s the deal: We can bray at each other about what points we got wrong on either side, and I wouldn’t be surprised if both of us came up with a handful. Misinterpretation seems to be a side effect of speech. I’m not going to refute the points you bought up other than to say that I meant them in a different vein than you seem to be implying. And you’ve probably felt the same about my points that I bring to your attention.
I’d say start with the simple and logical, find a way to secure the income to measure some baseline things in your body, and see if you can use diet or supplementation to address those issues. Go from there. Exercise, to regulate your hormones, mood, and improve your capability. Research psychedelics in the vein of constructive insight rather than party drugs. Go do something; if you’re that mentally strong you shouldn’t have a problem with something so trivial as discipline and initiative. I don’t much care for theory unless it’s as a guidepost from which I can experiment from, so quote all the theory you want. Pick every theory that leaves you a victim. I’ll pick the ones that leave me functional and fulfilled.
And I do thank you; your condemnation of me has opened my eyes to embracing positivity and functionality even further. I really have no interest in conforming to your subjective notion of strength or wisdom. But it’s ok, I doubt you’ll thank me, because the work will have been yours when you get to the point of becoming happy and fulfilled. We are not born capable, and it takes humility and experimentation to become so, and you still have a chance to do so. I hope you become that. And bottom line? You deserve a healthy, happy, fulfilled life, Louis, and I hope you get it. I hope that you either stumble on a way to take you out of your soul sickness, or your experimentation leads you to such ways. Good luck.
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Let me explain why you are a hypocrite: You cling to subjective theories that place you as a hero in your own story. You seem to be unwilling to test your theories through functionality aside from a few token handfuls you may or may not have helped. You claim moral righteousness, but like every megalomaniac and past tyrant, you insist that you are right and I am wrong based on your anecdotes and worldview.
All your anecdotes of suffering seem to be involuntary; when you are faced with a nonstressful environment or you aren’t angry, then you are “lazy.” Your anecdote you described to me illustrating your impulse control was tolerating a bitchy roommate. I’m betting when we get to voluntary action, you don’t have many anecdotes describing your “strength,” “grit,” or “toughness.”
Here’s my anecdote on toughness: one time I volunteered for a high attrition water survival course. I passed. Some elite service members who had passed other high attrition courses failed. Does that mean I’m better or tougher? Certainly not. It means I met the standards in the water and they didn’t. Perhaps they could dust me in combatives, cqb, or land nav or other arenas. So I’ve learned context. It’s pretty incredible that you use a scenario of bitchy roommate to demonstrate your voluntary impulse control. Go volunteer for something where your basic survival instinct to breathe is used against you.
You say that many people take offense to you or misunderstand you? Perhaps they are onto something. And those you’ve “helped?” They’re probably on to something as well. I don’t think you’re selfish, per se, more self-centered. You justify your superiority through personal anecdotes, which could easily be wrong, so instead of going out and testing yourself you cling to, “I’m working with what’s in front of me.”
Go put things in front of you that are actually productive. Instead of clinging to an unexplored position of superiority, start systematically. You have failed to respond directly to my implications that you should be more thorough with your body’s endocrine system, and that if you lack physical resources, you should break out of it by leveraging the ones you tout: your vast “strength,” and “wisdom.” Go commercialize your superiority. Or don’t; you can wallow in the assumption that you are some tortured hero and excuse your laziness and lack of exploration and thoroughness.
All your premises about me are subjective, and they may be right. But I’m inclined to disagree with them because by my own measure I am functional and fulfilled. You refuse to let go of this supposed superiority of yours to consider that your anecdotes may be wrong, and that perhaps your laziness is inexcusable if you have complaints, and that you aren’t that strong or smart, because you are unable to translate that into material result.
Be that guy that perches on his supposed superiority Louis, at the cost of personal initiative and functionality. Be the Spartan at Sphacteria, who, surrendered and caged, mocked his opponents as weak and unmanly even as they stood victorious over him. Be the SEAL who gets his ass beaten because he thinks he can take on a close to 7 foot UFC fighter. Be EVERY tyrant and megalomaniac who wallowed in the premise that they were “better” and that if somehow, they got what they were entitled to, then everything would be okay.
I suspect the reason you can’t overcome your problems is that you don’t want to. If you’re not being proactive about honing your personal capability, then I believe you’re trading it for the addiction of an unprovable and unassailable worldview where you are the tortured and wrongly vilified ubermensch.
Yes, Louis, I’d lean toward megalomaniac. You take sufficient proof of your theories as “helping” a handful of people. Couple that with your laziness and defense of it AND your resignation and now you’re supposedly superior. Seriously? You only work with what’s in front of you, true, so go move and find something different in front of you. Be disciplined and open other avenues of possibility. Oh wait, that’s for the weak. Keep solidifying your subjective theories that seem to place you as the tragic hero that does little, says much, and means nothing.
But to tie it back to our unifying point, we have both wished each other the best, and despite the vigorous back-and-forth, I do not think we disagree with the ethics of each other’s intentions, merely the methods. (IMHO, you disagree with mine; I say go live your life as you wish, I’m simply offering a harsh and honest opinion in response to your own)
We both seem to want people to be happy at heart, whatever that means through our individual perspectives. But whether you are “grown up,” “free,” “wise,” “strong…” go be ACTIVE Louis; you’re not helping your case by being lazy. It certainly makes a stronger case for all your negative labels applied to yourself. Weak people can’t stand the rigor of action. Foolish people will never act on materializing a better world for themselves, because they love the role of tragic hero too much. I’ve provided you with mountains of avenues to try, oh and heres another one: try cold water immersion. The norepinephrine boost can help your mood and open other beneficial pathways.
Yep, I do know my choice: Continue exploring functionality/fulfillment. Feel free to condemn everybody from your high perch where you cannot satisfactory change or fulfillment. Cater to your laziness with rationale.
And here’s the thing: If that approach works for you and makes you an effective, happy dude, then go for it. I’m just gonna keep doing my thing, and as soon as someone shows me effectiveness, I’ll incorporate into my own approach, kinda like Bruce Lee advocated. You can stay with your stolid insistence that your way is best, just like generations of outdated martial artists.
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Apologies, I feel that you are intentionally sabotaging your own life by not focusing on application and instead focusing on high-handed theories that allow you to maintain an illusory position of superiority that doesn’t require experimentation or discipline.
I’ve enjoyed the sparring, I’ve enjoyed you dancing around the fact that you need to apply yourself, and truly I wish you the best. Call me whatever you want, but I’ll eschew the labels, I’ll eschew your lack of commitment to actively testing your grand theories so that I can go for practical application and fulfillment.
While that approach may not be the right one for you, I sincerely hope you find a way to apply yourself and fulfill yourself nevertheless. Good luck!
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