Kent Wayne

It Was Never Supposed to Feel Like This

—

by

DirtySciFiBuddha
in

It’s not that anything is wrong.

That’s what makes it harder to explain.

You’re doing what you’re supposed to do.

You’ve followed the path.

You’ve made the decisions that make sense.

And from the outside?

Everything looks fine.

But inside…

there’s something that doesn’t line up.

Not loudly.

Not dramatically.

Just a quiet, constant feeling:

this isn’t what I thought it would be.

Most people adjust to that.

They shrink around it.

They tell themselves:

“this is just how life is”

But what if it isn’t?

What if that feeling isn’t a flaw?

What if it’s not something to fix…

but something to follow?

That’s where things start to shift.

Not when everything breaks.

But when you stop pretending it fits.

That’s where this story begins.

Continue Jon’s Story

If this stayed with you…

it doesn’t end here.

This is where the story begins:

Read Chapter One

Or continue straight into the story:

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Or take your time.

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Comments

8 responses to “It Was Never Supposed to Feel Like This”

  1. my word (s) Avatar
    my word (s)

    You have a very unique writing style that I really enjoy.

    Reply
  2. retrevdave Avatar
    retrevdave

    I remember that feeling. I’m doing everything right. I am actually receiving support and accolades. But there is something just over the event horizon – something that reaches back to this present and diminishes the feeling of accomplishment. Out of this, I found a vision.

    We are not traveling along a path – sometimes rocky, sometimes smooth, sometimes through a valley, sometimes to a hilltop. We think we can see back from whence we came. We think we can peer forward to see what is coming. But this is an illusion.

    We move through time like stepping from one sealed room to the next. As we go through the door, it closes with a *click*. Ahead of us is another door, solid and opaque. We step into the Next, which becomes the Now as that door slams shut.

    Now for the religious part. God (if you will) is just beyond that next door, offering us a perfect possibility. Maybe not a platonic perfection, but given what is possible, one choice is best. Joyful. Delightful. Beautiful. And it is our own, personal choice.

    Reply
    1. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      Indeed. Perhaps the truest choice we have (maybe the only real choice we have) is to surrender to an ever-present perfection, one that dispels the illusion of lack or injustice.

      Reply
      1. retrevdave Avatar
        retrevdave

        By “ever-present perfection,” I take it you are referring to reality as it is, not what we make of it. Being in a physical, consequential world, we all encounter pain (as in trying to walk through a dark living room and encountering a coffee table that wasn’t there earlier). Pain happens. But we can make the pain into suffering by how we choose to interpret it.

      2. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
        DirtySciFiBuddha

        That’s a good way to put it!

  3. The Rev. Joshua Paetkau Avatar
    The Rev. Joshua Paetkau

    Interesting perspective. When we stop pretending it fits. Like a puzzle piece that won’t quiet connect.

    Reply
  4. Shaneequa Avatar
    Shaneequa

    Where the story begins ‼️

    Reply
  5. letsgetitoutfront Avatar
    letsgetitoutfront

    Loved the beginning! Waiting to see what the rest brings.

    Reply

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