Obsessing over whether people in my life are toxic or positive becomes tiresome and exhausting. The whole point of that is to make myself happier. If I focus on making myself happier, then I won’t worry about whether people perceive me as an asshole (the trap of staking my happiness on others’ uncontrollable perceptions), or whether they’re secretly draining me. I’ll pull away from them without conscious effort, and if they happen to move into a healthier state, we’ll reconnect.
From my personal experience with these situations, I believe we’ll naturally part ways–I’ll be too preoccupied with moving onward and upward to give them much thought, and they’ll be too busy making themselves unhappy and paranoid. Without common ground, we’ll quickly become disinterested in each other.
I wouldn’t have believed it worked the way when I was younger, but time and reflection have changed my mind.
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