One of the hardest questions to answer is: “in order to be fulfilled, how much short-term comfort should I sacrifice and how much should I hold onto?”
This is an age-old problem that requires ruthless introspection/experimentation, or there’s no evidence/analysis to base a decision off of. I might even go so far as to call that “the Art of Life.” (Or at least one of them.)
“fulfilled” is the key word. When I mentioned the book “the four agreements,” I think one answer is right there. If your life is honest, if you honor yourself, you do your best, everything else is choice. So no matter what you choose from that place, you will be fulfilled every day. For me, as I do not know how and when I leave the game, the main thing is to be satisfied with myself and the way I was with others, at the end of each day. Fulfillment as a way of being, beats trying to define an end you call fulfillment.
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Indeed! I believe a crucial component of this is knowing one’s own intent. For example, a philanthropist: are they trying to help others or seek recognition? Neither is bad, and neither excludes the other, but if a philanthropist helps others and doesn’t receive recognition, then they may be unfulfilled. Perhaps they need to do some kind of entertainment work in addition to their philanthropy. The tricky thing is, is that I think it’s easy to deceive myself about what I truly want; society and the idea of nobility constantly try to distort my desires into romanticized notions. I’m not pooh-poohing nobility, but I believe the desire to falsely cater to it poses a potential danger to fulfillment.
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when life becomes too much of a day to day sacrifice, it’s time to, somehow, adjust the picture – cheers, R ! chard
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I agree! I always like to keep fulfillment as the intent. That way, I know when to dial things up and dial things back, and I can quality-check my approaches along the way.
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Good point there! I feel we all need to examine our own needs more closely in general. A lot of people try to follow someone else’s road map to end up miserable, because the thing the other person considered a small comfort they can dismiss is actually important for the person trying to follow their advice.
Or maybe I’m just getting old 😀
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I’m getting old with ya, ha ha! I agree—trying to copy a parent or teacher usually doesn’t end well. But I also understand why it’s hard to look deeply at yourself, and map out tendencies and pitfalls so you can avoid them in the future. It goes into the uncomfortable territory of viewing yourself as machine-like.
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Glad I’m not the only old one here! And yeah, while I can admire some people and think they’re rocking at life, I’d fail with honors in being anyone other than me.
And you gave me a very good thinking point on viewing yourself as machine-like. I’ll have to ponder on that, but it rings true. And doesn’t sound all that bad. Now if only we could easily replace the busted parts…
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Yeah it’s very very humbling and also useful to me. I also think if I have any free will at all, I have to recognize the processes within myself where it’s extremely limited so I can adjust accordingly.
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