I’m about to sneak through a heavily guarded temple in the Congo and retrieve a rare bottle of the best damn BBQ sauce imaginable.  I peer down at the treasure map I’ve splayed across the jungle floor through the faint, red-lensed glow of my flashlight, and turn to Bitefighter (my loyal buddy and 10 lb. terrier-mix extraordinaire).  I whisper, “What do you think?  If we approach through the temple’s southern entrance we can avoid the guards and most of the traps.  We’ll snatch up the World Destroyer Barbecue Sauce and be swimming in the best ribs known to man.  Easy-peasy.”  He turns his mustachioed face towards mine and whispers an affirmative, “Rowf!”  “Okay,” I reply, rolling up the map and clicking off the flashlight.  “Let’s get—” and before I can finish the sentence, a quartet of vegans jumps on my back and start biting the living shit out of my neck and face.  I scream, “AH GOD!  DARK KNIGHT SAVE ME!”  while swinging blindly with my flashlight.  Bitefighter’s yipping in frustration, darting in and out so he can nip at my enemies’ ankles.  I dig in my pocket and open my eReader to Echo.  Magic flash.  Suddenly a passel of chimps burst into the clearing and start pulling body parts off the vegans and chowing down on handfuls of bloody dangly bits.  I’m frozen in terror as I watch the chimps re-enact some crazy-ass zombie scene from the Walking Dead.  The chimp leader gives me a bloody smile and much to my astonishment, says in halting English:  “Ve.  Gan.  Taste.  GOOD!  NOMMERS!”

Hey, as long as it’s sourced responsibly and humanely, I should eat meat if I want, right?  Don’t judge me for eating ribs—Nature might just give you the rudest, most ironic surprise of your life.  NOMMERS!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle