I ask one of the fashionably unshowered workers at Whole Foods to help me find some a’ those bomb-ass dried mangos.  “Right behind you,” he says.  I thank him, retrieve the snacks, but when I turn around he whips out a chain of crystal medallions, blinding me with their multifaceted glare.  “HIPPIE PERPETUUM!” he screams as I stagger back, eyes shielded by a forearm.  I crash into a stack of cereal, dazedly blinking away huge swaths of sunspots.  Every nearby shopper starts flinging giant globs of patchouli butter at me (hippies in disguise!  Treachery everywhere!).  I sputter and fumble my way to the meat section, splattered by patchouli missiles as I make my retreat.  Out of desperation, I open my eReader to Echo.  Magic flash.  The lobsters and steaks begin vibrating…then they fly toward each other, assembling into a giant Meat-thing that towers fifteen feet into the air and looks vaguely like a crab.  It raises two arms that are pieced together from chops and cuts, and lets loose with an enormous bellow.  Every hippie pauses, and I hear murmurs of “It’s a living creature!  We can’t attack it!”  I take the opportunity to shout at Meatfighter (yep, I named it on the spot—and that is a badass name if I may say so myself) “MEATFIGHTER!  AT THEM!”  Meatfighter starts disemboweling hippies with ponderous swipes of its bone-tipped claws.  The aisles are littered with bled-out hippies, all with glassy eyes and confused expressions….as it should be, bwahahaha!

If I may quote Science:  “Every day, 8.4 Whole Foods customers are accosted by patchouli-powered flower children.”  But lucky for you, Kent Wayne has a solution:  Meatfighter.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle