Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

My English professor is talking our ears off about some centuries-old piece of writing that supposedly illustrated man’s plight of continual ignorance within a failed state compounded by greed underscored by the theme of animal vs. human etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah…I’m getting up to leave when suddenly, the professor presses a button beneath his desk.  Giant manacles spring up from the ground and clap around my ankles.  Whatthehoozis!?!?!?  The teachers’ pets close their eyes and twist their fingers into arcane gestures.  Glowing light envelops them and peels away their bodies, revealing their true forms.  They’re…they’re…TENURED professors!  They look exactly how you’d expect them to look:  Pale, fightless skin-sacks that are engineered to make you feel inferior in the most passive-aggressive manner.  I struggle against my iron chains as they close in.  “We’ve been tracking your blog entries, Kent,” one of them says in a sibilant hiss.  “We’re going to rip open your nuts and suck the creativity right out of them!”  I scream, “GET YOUR MOUTHS AWAY FROM MY NUTS!”  (Believe me:  there are many occasions when I’m expressing the exact opposite of that sentiment, but there’s a time and place, right?)  I fumble for my eReader and open it to Echo.  Magic flash.  My eyes light up and my jaw drops open as Tolkein, Hemingway, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle appear in front of me, seemingly bewildered by the abrupt change in their surroundings.  J-Wrath (that’s Tolkein’s rapper name) turns to Ernest and says, “Wot the bloody ‘ell are these things?”  (Come on, we Americans like to attribute cartoonish accents to all foreigners.  Nothing but love in this case).  Hemingway’s eyes darken and he mutters, “Literature nerds.  I’ve met more than a few of these dastards in my time…” a soul-shaking fury enters his eyes and he screams, “COME AT ME THEN, YOU FAITHLESS CURS!”  Now look, I know we’ve all seen the submission wizardry of the Diaz brothers, the thrilling kickboxing from Wonderboy, and the amazing smack-talking from Conor, but there is nothing—I repeat NOTHING—more manly than old-timey boxing.  These three men—MEN I tell you; authors by trade, badasses by nature—lay beautiful, old-timey waste to the minions trying to gnash my nuts open.  Makes me wanna grow a mustache and wear a strong-man one-piece.  After they’re done, Sir Arthur claps me on the shoulder and says, “Come lad, I would hear more of your tale.  Tell me about giant robot suits, astral combat, and wizards.”

Are you sick of high-handed literati criticizing you for the improper use of the semicolon or a run-on sentence?  Summon the whiskey-swilling authors of old and write the shiz that makes your readers feel like an excited little kid, not some gray-haired crankenfuss.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

  1. “…authors by trade, badasses by nature…” Yes! Your post creatively (and pretty humorously) hits on some great points. Cheers, and happy writing.

    By the way, if you’re a Neal Stephenson fan and you haven’t read the interview he did on Slashdot a few years ago, you might enjoy it. It’s kind of a long exchange, but check out, in particular, his response to Question 2, on the “lack of respect” often afforded to science fiction, fantasy, and other genre authors by the literary establishment. He doesn’t exactly speak ill of the “literature nerds” but he definitely calls them out on their frequent inability to see past the narrow confines of the academic world, and he has some interesting insights on the differences between what he calls “Dante Authors” vs. “Beowulf Authors” and the bifurcated systems they often inhabit. The interview is archived at the page address below.

    https://slashdot.org/story/04/10/20/1518217/neal-stephenson-responds-with-wit-and-humor

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank You!!! When I was a kid I read Snowblind. I was never aware of this “lack of respect” but I guess it makes sense if you take into account all the authors that are driven by insecurity and the desire to control.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s