I’m at a wine-tasting thing. Everyone’s in fancy formal-wear except me (I’ll be damned if I pass up the opportunity to wear jeans and a t-shirt!). The discontent grows; high-class drunkards are giving me Sauron’s eye while I fill my mouth with delicious cheeses. Suddenly one of them flips a bottle, gripping it neck toward the ground, and smashes it over my dome. “UNCIVILIZED HEATHEN!” he yells. Then these well-dressed animals are on me, punching, kicking…stars dance across my vision. I see plasticized wives cheering them on, every now and then swinging a purse at my face with a gleeful smile. In a bleary-eyed daze, I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. An army of the finest pornstars appears in the room, naked and dripping. Not gonna go into it, but they use a bevy of horrifying fluids (can’t help but be impressed by the volume) to hose down these uptight savages, making them scream like vampires in sunlight. I scramble away on all fours, wishing I’d brought an umbrella.