Malicious, tweenage hackers have compromised my facebook, twitter, all of it.  Pics of oversized male genitalia are flooding my accounts.  I’m desperate.  My eReader (open to Echo) flashes with magic light.  Suddenly Zuckerberg and Gates are looming over my laptop, plinking away.  Gates’ bespectacled face turns toward me, eyes impassive in the monitor’s glare, and in what I swear is a perfect Clint impression says, “Leave it to us.” My accounts are unlocked and hassle-free.  In related news, a network of tweenage hackers was sentenced to listen to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” song for a year.  Nonstop.

Man, that song was bad.  Buy Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle.  Both volumes on other eReaders here:  Echo on other eReaders