If someone doesn’t study themselves in an effort to correct deficiencies, I think they’re almost guaranteed to continue running the same, obsolete scripts over and over again. We’ve all seen people who employ the same, ill-fated approaches because it’s easier to do than hold themselves accountable by looking into the mirror.
In my mind, this is one of the surest ways to waste any free will we may or may not have.
I have my wife to study me and to make remarks about my deficiencies. All I have to do is deciding if I’m going to listen or if I’m going to ignore her observations.
I’ve always looked behind the mirror. That tells me a lot more truths about myself than the flashy image on the other side.
and by the way, thanks for your continued support of my blog about Lola in Alaska. It’s nice to see that someone reads it now and again.
Take care in judging “deficiencies.” Being human could be considered as such. The price of taking oneself too seriously is often a joyless lack of freedom to be other than perfect. Relationships with other “flawed” people are dependent on your self forgiveness.
I believe it takes probably more than a human mind to compute this. And computer algorithms will also not do (Limited to the input they get, and very often flawed by the defaults of their designers). Humans evolve through resolving and Gödel already proved that logic cannot represent the true nature of the reality; only of the language that describes it.
I don’t think anyone’s proved anything regarding the true nature of reality, but as far as interaction with other humans goes, the use of deductive (theorizing an approach) and inductive (drawing conclusions through experimentation) can produce largely consistent results. Mentalists do it quite effectively, so do good psychologists, and so does Tony Robbins for that matter.
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It is important that we learn from our mistakes. We are born with the natural capacity to do this. We are born learners and experimenters.
The reason we develop bad habits and refuse to acknowledge our capacity for positive change is that we develop what Wilhelm Reich called our “character armour” – i.e. a rigid ego-structure formed in response to a sense of anxiety about threats external – e.g. the criticism of others – and internal – all the painful or hostile emotions we keep bottled up.
If we are to return to our child-like flexibility – if we are to find the courage and enthusiasm for positive change – we have to free ourselves from the sense of insecurity about self which caused us to form our armour. We have to cultivate unconditional self-acceptance. This is not complacency about our behaviour, but complete acceptance of what lies behind that behaviour. We can look in that mirror only if we know with absolute certainty that we will not condemn ourselves for anything we may see there.
When we are engaged in meaningful activity – when we are in that child-like state of responsiveness to the lessons life has to teach us – we forget ourselves for the moment. By contrast, most of us have probably experienced times when we were so focused on looking for deficiencies in ourselves – so self-centred – that we were crippled by our self-consciousness and unable to move away from any bad habit.
I agree. I think self-pity/flagellation is just as bad as arrogance. That’s why I think competence and effectiveness is one of the highest standards to quality-check ourselves. Mcgregor and Ali seem to use shit-talking as strategic tools (though Mcgregor either got arrogant or miscalculated when it came to the bus incident), so by and large, I wouldn’t just them as suffering from arrogance, because they use seemingly arrogant behavior to devastating effect.
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if i look inwards and find faults, then i must work on them.
we all are flawed but are not to remain so. Create the better you
faults? there is the element I question. Is there some angel, perfect in every way who stands for us to model? we are driven by instinct and emotion to find love and safety. Is that fault-ridden? I think so. And there is no way we can rid ourselves from imperfection. Grace and self-grace are the examples we are given by the great spiritualists. they acknowledge the fact that we can be loved with all our weaknesses.
While there is no perfect model, I don’t think that negates the underlying point, which is that there are personal faults that keep us from achieving a harmonious state. I believe these can be addressed through knowing oneself, and the courage to make an effort to change.
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Kent Wayne 
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