What the unintended BLAP is happening, all my fellow lovers who’ve gone a bit too hard at it and induced a gassy, slappy noise that hits us with the urge to giggle like schoolchildren—an urge which we all set aside because every single one of us is a Professional Fucker of the highest caliber? (If you have to laugh, turn away and disguise it as a cough. 😉 ) This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download you some episodes of the Strained Brains podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Just to allay your fears: neither Echo nor my podcast are about trumpeting, fart-noised flesh-flaps; no way Mcbro-ski Mcbrosefs! Echo’s all about cyborg super-soldiers, dark socioeconomic commentary, robo-beast monsters, and Kuh-RAAZY existential storytelling (that’s volume 4—hope it’s not too much; the preliminary responses have been positive)! Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how flatulence-free amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: after dozens of years of study and meditation, you’ve managed to increase your IQ by 300 points. But one day, you wake up to find that your filthy enemies have managed to roofie your Scooby Snacks, and incapacitate your giant-cerebrumed ass. They’ve tied your arms and legs to a floor-bolted chair, and are slowly lowering Kim Kardashian toward your head, butt-first.
“HEH heh heh!” the lead henchman cackles. “When your head is fully enveloped by her cheeks, your intelligence will lower by 98.56798%, and you too, will become trapped in a social media netherworld, where trolls, bros, and airheads are your only companions. MOO HOO HA HA!”
No—NO! You squeal and twist, swearing vengeance upon your oppressors, but just as her cheeks begin sliding over your scalp with a soft, fleshy whisper, Neil De Grasse Tyson bursts onto the scene and begins reciting that marvelous, quantum poetry he spews from his speak-hole on a regular basis. Veins stand out on Kim’s forehead, and her face turns beet-red as she experiences an overload of logic. She throws her head back and screams, “The horror—THE HORROR!” right before she begins vomiting organs out from her mouth. Your captors flee before the baddest ass science communicator to ever walk the Earth, crying for their mommas. YES! See—that rush of relief you’d feel at not having your brainpower sucked up through a pair of Kardashian asscheeks is EXACTLY what we indie author/podcasters feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a super-duper-smarty favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons or the ’Tunes! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀