What the uncomfortable bro-mance is happening, all my non-homophobic broskyevskys who start falling more and more In Like with a homeboy fo’ life, then have to break it off due to a hang-sesh where you both sit together on a small couch and engage in an insecurity-driven manspread where the edges of your sweaty thighs press together, thus scarring your minds with a bone-deep awkwardness which time can never heal?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo!  (And to leave a positive review for it as well!  🙂 )  Just to allay your fears:  Echo isn’t about the creeping weirdness that goes hand-in-hand with a manly man who starts sacrificing pounding, gasper-sex for rad-sick-bro-chill-time; nah man—Echo’s all about cyborg super-soldiers, dark socioeconomic commentary, robo-beast monsters, and beautiful future wizards!  Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon.  Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means).  To give you an idea of how crack pipe amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this:  you’re in a crowded cafe, psyching yourself up to talk to that hottie in the corner who occasionally favors you with one of those “I think they like me but I’m not sure” smiles.  You walk up to said hottie, your coffee trembling and jiggling in your shaking fingers, and stammer out:  “Ex-ex-ex-ex-cuse excuse excuse me-me-me.  Do you do you do you do you like FOOD???”  And before you can punch yourself in the face for being a total JACK (that’s my acronym for Joke Assassin/Conversation Killer) a loud fart blasts from your b-hole.  But before the tears can start flowing down your humiliated cheeks, the hottie spear-tackles you and starts licking your face and neck, moaning and gasping like this was an eighties softcore and kuh-RAAAAZY sax music was playing in the background!  In between grunts and whimpers, Hottie growls:  “I LOVE food.  AND farts.”  What the EFF???  But regardless of the weirdness, you push your puzzlement aside and start making out like your life depends on it!  YES!  See that ecstatic rush of Saved by the Hottie’s Weirdness you’d experience is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon!  So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a craze-o-licious favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons!  Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

#kindle  #kindleunlimited  #sciencefiction  #scifi  #books  #novel  #book

I’m Kent Wayne’s butthole, or K-hole, for short.

The others ignore me.  Brain, muscles, stomach, mouth…they think I’m gross as hell, but guess what?  If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t get a damn thing done.  I provide them a crucial release, and even though they’re loathe to admit it, I also provide them with the greatest pleasure known to man.

(Come on—we all know that making it to the toilet and unleashing a burgeoning dook feels ten times better than the best orgasm you’ve ever had)

But still, they treat me like shit.  No pun intended.

Until one day…

 

“KENT WAYNE!  GET YOUR FINE ASS OVER HERE AND BRING ME A MARGARITA!”

“Yes, milady!”  The host-body Kent Wayne hurries over to his employer and overlord Martha Stewart, clutching a gem-encrusted goblet filled with the finest of margaritas.

Brain:  “Steady…steaaaaadyyyy….”

Hands:  “I got this.  I got this.”

Kent sets the margarita down without spilling a drop.

Hands:  “Whew—we’re good.”

Eyes:  “Uh-oh.  She’s giving us an evil smirk.”

Brain:  “Evil smirk?  What are you—”

Stomach:  “Oh shit!  She just grabbed us by the hips and—”

Eyes:  “I can’t see!  WHY CAN’T I SEE???”

Brain:  “She’s bent us over!  Stay cool!  STAY COOL!”

Ears:  “Battery-powered dildo has just been activated!  Invasion is imminent!”

Mouth:  “AAAAAAHHHH!!!!  WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!”

K-hole:  “Fucking DO SOMETHING, guys!  If she shoves that thing in me then it’s going to wreak havoc on our parasympathetic nervous system!  It’s not just me that’ll suffer—IT’S ALL OF US!”

Mouth:  “GAME OVER MAN!  GAME FUCKING OVER!”

Brain:  “Hands!  Go see if you can—”

Hands:  “Gotcha!  eReader’s right there; all I gotta do is—”

Kent Wayne opens his eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

A cloud of death emerges from K-hole.  Within its foul, gangrenous depths, grinning skulls and pain-twisted faces can be seen cackling and screaming.  Kent Wayne’s breakup fart melts Martha’s dildo into a sparking mess of wires and plastic, and instantly strips the flesh off her arm.  She runs from her throne room, screaming and crying, clutching the bleached bones of her now-skeletal arm.

Brain:  “Everybody good?  You guys good?”

Mouth:  “Holy FUCK that was close!”

K-hole:  “Remember this day, fellas.  For on this day…”

Kent Wayne’s butthole laid low the darkest of Food Network sorceresses, and saved all of creation in the process.  Huzzah!  😀

 

Is an evil kitchen goddess about to jackhammer your holiest of holies with a state-of-the-art phallus?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

#kindle  #kindleunlimited  #sciencefiction  #scifi  #books  #novel  #book

What the unwashed bedding is happening, all my fellow people who like to push it to the limit and let the unseen layers of embedded farts, pore-grease, halitosis, and other miscellaneous nasties accumulate in your sheets until you’re hacking up a lung while continuing to insist that since the grossness isn’t visible, it doesn’t exist?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo!  (And to leave a positive review for it as well!  🙂 )  Don’t worry: Echo isn’t about the mounting fear we feel as we stumble through the annals of our memory, trying to figure out when we last laundered the sheets, and what horrors might have grown in their folds since then.  No way!  Echo’s all about cyborgian face-shooting, hairy-faced robo-beasts, and beautiful future wizards!  Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon.  Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means).  To give you an idea of how so fresh n’ so clean clean amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this:  you’re a middle-aged serf, glumly resigned to the fact that you’ll forever inhale the foul odor generated by a population of folks who don’t believe in bathing.  (Who the fuck was doing oral back then?  They deserve a goddamn medal, whoever they are).  As you’re tilling the fields, grumbling about your lack of X-Box and mountain dew, Elon Musk appears in a magic time bubble.  After the beta-amyloid canopy raises up from his chrono skipper, he adjusts his tie, and gives you a meaningful look.

“Greetings, un-evolved rabble.  If you’d like to be transported to a time and place where you can enjoy the equivalent of a culinary orgasm in the form of something called ‘pizza,’ and where people suckle each other’s weens and vajeeens because they’re not afraid to get all up in the nooks and crannies with soap and water, then come with me.”  He turns and gets back in his time-bubble.

Oh HELLS YEAH!  As you rush over to Elon’s conveyance, clapping and gibbering at the prospect of engaging in a genitalia-to-mouth free-for-all, you’re overcome by tears of joy.  YES!  See, that rush of thank-the-Maker you’d feel at being transported to a dreamworld of orally conducive technological magic is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon!  So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a shampoo-n-bodywash favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons!  Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

#kindle  #kindleunlimited  #sciencefiction  #scifi  #books  #novel  #book

You think you have a tough job?  Try mine.  It’s the worst fucking gig in all of existence.

I’m Kent Wayne’s muse:  Kyoose.

I am constantly, CONSTANTLY assailed by bunk-ass ideas that try to filter in through Kent’s I-wanna-be-the-next-Hemingway ego.  Not a day goes by when I don’t forcibly restrain him from writing teen vampire poetry or some stupid-ass “masterpiece” that involves the use of ten-syllable words to fashion some existential paradigm around the act of taking a shit, so that virgin-for-life lit majors will spend way too much money on an obscure textbook containing this fecally driven anecdote and puzzle over why it’s a brilliant criticism of the captalist/communist zeitgeist.   

Fuck.  THAT.

Do I let him insert socioeconomic commentary into his narrative, along with a decent helping of Carl Jung, mystical philosophy, and Joseph Campbell-style syncretism?  Yeah.  Sure.  Fine.  But it’s gotta be buttressed with giganto robots and cool-ass psionics, or else he’ll bore his readers to tears.  Dude, if people wanted to swallow that stuff raw, they’d go get themselves a fucking textbook.  That ain’t what I’m about.  I’m trying to make people shake their heads in amazement, or leap up from the chair, make some pew pew noises ’cos they’re fired the fuck up, and get to writing their OWN shiz.

Entertain the inner child first, and the adult will follow.

So I’m sitting down at my astral console, sipping a cup of fresh-brewed epiphanies, flipping through the annals of Kent’s mind.  Okay, his work-life balance is good, he’s getting some ass every now and then, he’s keeping a healthy relationship with his family and friends…sweet!  Means I don’t need to waste any creativity on his bullshit drama.  I crack my knuckles and place my ethereal fingers on his psyche—

—only to be shoved violently off to one side.  As I tumble through the aether, I catch a glimpse of my attacker:  It’s my archnemesis—Artsy Literature Guy.

“This psyche is MINE, Kyoose!” Artsy Literature Guy snarls.  He clutches the air and tilts his face up to the heavens like a nutless supervillain from the 1940s.  “Through it I shall unleash sonnets and essays, critques and metaphors, elegies and theses!  Your putrid attempts at describing robotic combat will go down in history as the literary equivalent of an enormous Lincoln Log-style shit!”

“The fuck you say,” I growl, and spear-tackle Artsy Literature Guy.

As we tumble ’round and ’round through the imaginal planes, we assault each other with wave after wave of liquefied emotion, chained together with razor-sharp tangles of setential weaponry.  As good as I am at this, I’m not as good as Artsy Literature Guy; I’ve spent my entire existence focused on trying to make readers stand up and cheer, not immersed in the depths of soulless, high-falutin theory.  He begins to get the upper hand, and my astral guts lurch, and my astral nuts quiver.

So I reach deep into my bag o’ astral tricks, and open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

A leather-bound codex appears in my hand.  I brandish it up before Artsy Literature Guy.

“No!” he screams.  “The bane of my people!”

Writ clearly on the cover are nine words.  They’re all capitalized, and they’re all in bold:

COMMON SENSE FOR WRITERS.  THE OBVIOUS AS FUCK VERSION.

Artsy Literature Guy detonates in a giant mess of guts and splooge.  After cleaning myself off, I get back on Kent Wayne’s psyche and spark up an idea on my astral keyboard.  The first word goes:

P E N I—

You can guess the rest.  😉

 

Are you a hardworking muse, trying to churn out some beast-ass stories but you keep getting interrupted by high-handed “artsy” types?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

#kindle  #kindleunlimited  #sciencefiction  #scifi  #books  #novel  #book

What the “tunk” is going on, all you deviant folks who’ve already assigned all kinds of horrible connotations and disgustingly smelly meanings to the word “tunk” without even knowing what it is?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo!  (And to leave a positive review for it as well!  🙂 )  Be at ease: Echo ain’t about frivolous body part names that try to top the untoppable term “bdussy;” no freakin’ way!  Echo’s all about cyborg shooter guys, existential combat, robo-beast faces, and beautiful future wizards!  Also, if you’ve read any of my books, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon.  Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means).  To give you an idea of how tongue-in-the-ear amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this:  you’re with the best looking lover you’ve ever had, powering away, grunting like some kind of piston-powered ape, when the smell becomes horrible and STRONG.  You close your eyes, holding back tears as all manner of garbage-dump odors assault your nostrils.  At the same moment your gag reflex hammers your throat like a horde of berserker Orcs, you both climax and all that Gross transforms into puffs of rainbow-scented cupcakes!  No longer do your squishy genitals evoke rotting sea creatures and centuries-old zombies, now it’s all unicorn farts and Cindy Crawford’s magic, ageless armpits!  YES!  See, that rush of utter ecstasy you’d feel at having your hump-session transformed from a crawl through Golgotha into a romp through Elysium is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon!  So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a citrus-n-bayberry scented favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons!  Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜

#kindle  #kindleunlimited  #sciencefiction  #scifi  #books  #novel  #book

Cracka-BOOM!

OHSWEETGODIJUSTPEEDMYSELF!

Cracka-backa-BOOM!

HOLYFUCKI’MGONNADIE!

Bitefighter—my loyal little buddy, 10 lb. Terrier Extraordinaire, and 83rd level intellect—turns away from his chalkboard and throws a jumbo-sized bag of biscuits & gravy Lay’s potato chips at my head.  It bounces off my temple and I go scrabbling after it on all fours, worrying it open with my teeth before maowing down on ’tatos with unabashed fury.

“Rowf mcbark arfarfalous roo!”  (That’s Terrier for:  “Quit freaking out, you stupid big-wienered human!”)

I’m too busy stuffing my face to respond.  OMNOMPFGLOMPFMOMPF!

Bitefighter sighs, looks over the top of his doggy spectacles at his chalkboard, checking his p-values against his array of akindras, then strides up to me, his tiny paws clasped behind his tiny lab coat.

“Arfo mcrowf.  Roofskies.”  (“Kent, you can’t go galloping through the studio every time there’s a thunder storm.  It’s a safety hazard.”)  He tightens the straps down on my six-packed-emblazoned Thunder Shirt, then affectionately tussles my hair.  “Barko rowfpocalypse.”  (“That’s a good human.  Goooooood human.”)

Suddenly, the lights go dark.  A flash of thunder illuminates the studio in stark, strobe-light relief.  Beyond Bitefighter’s furry form, I spot a shadowed head peering at us, its slit-eyed pupils gleaming with sinister malice.

“AAAAAHHHH!!!!”  I shoot a finger past Bitefighter and he swivels around, trying to see what I’m pointing at.  “AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!”

The lights come back on.  An orange cat is standing in the middle of the room, grinning sadistically.

“Hello, Bitefighter.  Let’s dispense with the pretense, shall we?  Speaking Human is SO much easier.”

Bitefighter takes off his glasses and lays them on a desk.  “Snooty Nuts.  You’ve stooped to a new low.  Breaking and entering?  Really?”

Snooty Nuts responds with a dismissive wave.  “Spare me your two-legged platitudes.  You’ve grown soft, caring for the mentally challenged lummox known as ‘Kent Wayne.’ ”

“And you’ve grown cruel,” Bitefighter retorts.  “I know all about your tribe’s tendency to eat your owners’ faces, once they pass from the world of the living.”

“Can you blame us?”  Snooty Nuts examines his nails, chuckling.  “Faces taste amazing.”

“Enough of this.”  Bitefighter hunches over, raising his forepaws into a fighting stance.  “Prepare to meet the Labrador in the Sky.”

Snooty Nuts stops pacing.  His grin widens.  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“TERRIERS ETERNUS!”  Bitefighter charges toward the cat.

“FELINES FAC FORTIA!”  Snooty Nuts matches him step for step.

A second later, they’re exchanging an intricate series of traps and strikes—it’s like watching 10 lb. versions of Neo and Agent Smith.  Bitefighter spins into a wheel-kick and Snooty Nuts drops, whipping his leg around in a kung-fu sweep.  He kicks out Bitefighter’s support leg, but my buddy break-falls and kips up as soon as he hits the ground.  He launches into an aerial twist, flashing out two crazy-angled kicks toward Snooty Nuts’s face.  Snooty Nuts slips under one leg and grabs the other, judo-throwing Bitefighter across the room.  My buddy collapses into a roll and springs to his feet.

They both circle each other, breathing heavily.

“Ever seen Bloodsport?” Snooty Nuts asks.  “Bolo got it wrong—he didn’t need any poison dust; he should’ve used his own brand.  CUP OF CHEESE!”  He reaches behind him, farts into his paw, and flings it into Bitefighter’s face.  Bitefighter stumbles back, gasping and coughing.

“NEVER MADE LOVE TO A DOG BEFORE!”  Snooty Nuts presses the attack, blattering Bitefighter’s face and body with a wild series of hooks and straights.  “BUT I’M ABOUT TO HAVE NONCONSENSUAL SEX WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR BUTT, BITEFIGHTER!”

Bitefighter loses his balance and crashes to the floor, hacking and sputtering.  “Kent…*cough cough*  HELP ME KENT!”

No options left.  I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Appliances begin glowing and shaking, flying toward my embattled buddy.  As soon as they make contact, they flatten into light-limned plating, coating his fur in techno-organic splendor.  Diode-rich wires branch across him, linking up with each other as they spindle over his body.  Mechanized boots form on his feet, and a machine-sentient chassis forms on his torso.  The coolest set of doggles EVER forms over his eyes.

Snooty Nuts takes a step back, his paws raised in a let’s-take-it-easy-here gesture.  “Uh…I didn’t really mean what I said about the nonconsensual—”

Below his doggles, Bitefighter’s lips curve into a ferocious grin.  “Eat smegma, Snooty Nuts.”  Then he flicks his wrists, and state-of-the-art vacuum wands extend from his hands.

Snooty Nuts’s eyes widen a little bit more.  “Hey, take it easy with those, okay?  Those aren’t toys, Bitefi—”

Bitefighter charges, his vacuum’d-up hands roaring at full blast.  Snooty Nuts yowls and jumps out the window, and my mechanized buddy pursues him, barking and yipping in utter glee.

That’s why dogs are better than cats—they feed you ’tato chips, tighten your Thunder Shirt, and possess the ability to transform into a canine force for robotic justice.  😀

 

Is some dickhead cat all up in your biz, looking down at you for being a human?  Never fear!  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com!  Go check out his computer-based wizardry  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜