I’m Kent Wayne’s butthole, or K-hole, for short.
The others ignore me. Brain, muscles, stomach, mouth…they think I’m gross as hell, but guess what? If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t get a damn thing done. I provide them a crucial release, and even though they’re loathe to admit it, I also provide them with the greatest pleasure known to man.
(Come on—we all know that making it to the toilet and unleashing a burgeoning dook feels ten times better than the best orgasm you’ve ever had)
But still, they treat me like shit. No pun intended.
Until one day…
“KENT WAYNE! GET YOUR FINE ASS OVER HERE AND BRING ME A MARGARITA!”
“Yes, milady!” The host-body Kent Wayne hurries over to his employer and overlord Martha Stewart, clutching a gem-encrusted goblet filled with the finest of margaritas.
Hands: “I got this. I got this.”
Kent sets the margarita down without spilling a drop.
Hands: “Whew—we’re good.”
Eyes: “Uh-oh. She’s giving us an evil smirk.”
Brain: “Evil smirk? What are you—”
Stomach: “Oh shit! She just grabbed us by the hips and—”
Eyes: “I can’t see! WHY CAN’T I SEE???”
Brain: “She’s bent us over! Stay cool! STAY COOL!”
Ears: “Battery-powered dildo has just been activated! Invasion is imminent!”
Mouth: “AAAAAAHHHH!!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!”
K-hole: “Fucking DO SOMETHING, guys! If she shoves that thing in me then it’s going to wreak havoc on our parasympathetic nervous system! It’s not just me that’ll suffer—IT’S ALL OF US!”
Mouth: “GAME OVER MAN! GAME FUCKING OVER!”
Brain: “Hands! Go see if you can—”
Hands: “Gotcha! eReader’s right there; all I gotta do is—”
Kent Wayne opens his eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A cloud of death emerges from K-hole. Within its foul, gangrenous depths, grinning skulls and pain-twisted faces can be seen cackling and screaming. Kent Wayne’s breakup fart melts Martha’s dildo into a sparking mess of wires and plastic, and instantly strips the flesh off her arm. She runs from her throne room, screaming and crying, clutching the bleached bones of her now-skeletal arm.
Brain: “Everybody good? You guys good?”
Mouth: “Holy FUCK that was close!”
K-hole: “Remember this day, fellas. For on this day…”
Kent Wayne’s butthole laid low the darkest of Food Network sorceresses, and saved all of creation in the process. Huzzah! 😀
Is an evil kitchen goddess about to jackhammer your holiest of holies with a state-of-the-art phallus? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜